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Thread: The unwanted flower

  1. #1
    Registered User
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    Dec 2015

    Post The unwanted flower

    Long ago , there was a little village , its residents believed that everything had a soul , the rocks , the sun , the trees and even the land had souls .
    The residents led quite ordinary lives with no worries . They were having such a great time in the village , waking up to God's morning star , that glowing medallion in the blue calm sky above them . And sleeping while listening to the soothing sound of the babbling brook , the river , the artery of the village that feeds and provides water , the essence of life to the vast village lands . There were blooming flowers everywhere and the sky-fall height trees towered over with there slightly green leaves creating a shield protecting the residents from the radiant sun .
    But , there it was in the middle of the village , the land of death , a barren and deserted circle shaped piece of land . The villagers tried plenty of times to restore the land and plant it , but they all failed . So they assumed that it was a cursed land . The land of the Shinigami , the god of death . Their lives were stable and ordinary until one day something unexpected happened . The villagers were astonished , silent , frozen and pretty pale . No one has ever seen this , a flower bloomed , a flower bloomed in the middle of the cursed land . People couldn't believe it and rumors spread inside the village . " How could this be possible ? " everyone wondered . And there the flower kept blooming and blooming . Until one of the residents stepped out and yelled : " That's the flower of evil , it shouldn't be there . We should destroy it " . Everyone started yelling and screaming : " Let's destroy the flower of evil . " . But none of them thought of that little lonely black flower . They all believed that it shouldn't be there , that it shouldn't exist , that no one had to see it , that it was as cursed as the land it grew up on . " Let's destroy it " they yelled continuously and so they did . They took their weapons as if they were going on a war against an enemy , the enemy was a little lonely flower . They forgot that the flower of evil had a soul too , they cut off the flower's roots and no one stopped them . The flower died and everyone felt happy .
    The next day everyone came back to their ordinary boring lives , and the flower was dead . It was dead , abandoned and thrown away in the forest . There was no god of death , there was no evil except them

  2. #2
    Registered User 108 fountains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Falls Church, Virginia
    I liked this little morality tale. It was a creative concept. The last sentence was good.
    The writing could be improved with some revision. For example the first two sentences of the 2nd paragraph might be better written as:
    "In the middle of the verdant village, a barren and deserted circular piece of land lay like a blotch of death. The villagers had tried many times to restore the land and plant it, but all their efforts failed.
    Also, just a trivial point, but you should not separate with a space periods and commas from the words that precede them.
    A just conception of life is too large a thing to grasp during the short interval of passing through it.
    Thomas Hardy

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