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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 7

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 7

    ARE YOU WEARING WHITE TINSEL?

    Are you wearing white tinsel?
    Tied amidst your lustrous curls
    It makes you look so beautiful
    And more like an angel than a girl

    THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF SANTA’S ELVES

    The daughter of one of Santa’s Elves
    Was out of control and a bit of a prancer
    So he sent her to college in Lapland
    To stop her from being a pole dancer
    But she soon dropped out of college
    And now she’s a popular lap dancer

    THERE IS A POPULAR MYTH ABOUT RUDOLPH

    There is a popular myth about Rudolph
    And his quite legendary shiny nose
    But believe me if you ever saw him
    You would know that’s not what glows

    ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS EARRINGS?

    Are you wearing Christmas earrings?
    They’re really quite adorable
    Would it be inappropriate to say?
    That I really like your baubles

    HE CAME HOME ON CHRISTMAS EVE

    He came home on Christmas Eve
    On his long awaited Christmas leave
    The soldier returned from the war
    To find his beloved waiting at the door
    It took seconds for passions to ignite
    Which made it a Not-so-Silent Night

    I LOVE CHRISTMAS PUDDING

    I love Christmas pudding
    But it doesn’t return the favour
    I wish you could get Gaviscon
    In brandy butter flavour

    WHEN MY LITTLE KITTENS SETTLE DOWN

    When my little kittens settle down
    On Christmas Eve amidst the snores
    The little kitties dream like a child
    And they dream about Santa Claws

    THE LATEST GOSSIP IS IN FROM THE NORTH POLE

    The latest gossip is in from the North Pole
    And the Claus’s have divorced you know
    So why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
    Because he found out she was a ho ho ho

    SCROOGE HATES CHRISTMAS

    Scrooge hates Christmas
    But loves all of the reindeer
    And the simple reason for that is
    To him every buck is dear

    THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;

    This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;
    A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness
    Followed by being mostly drunk with
    A very slight chance of unconsciousness

    ARE YOU WEARING STRIPY STOCKINGS?

    Are you wearing stripy stockings?
    It must be that time of the year again
    I know you think they’re cute, but
    Your legs look like candy canes

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the Scrooge one and the noisy silent night the best.

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