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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 6

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 6

    ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS JUMPER?

    Are you wearing a Christmas Jumper?
    Well its contents look rather bumper
    The flashing lights I should mention
    Are not needed to attract my attention

    CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 6

    When youíre on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    During the Christmas season
    Walk up and simply ask her
    ďIf she would like to meet
    Santa's little helper?Ē

    ARE YOU WEARING BLACK TINSEL?

    Are you wearing black tinsel?
    Tied amidst your lustrous curls
    Well you must either be a Grinch
    Or youíre a very wicked girl

    SANTAíS YOUNGEST DAUGHTER MARY

    Santaís youngest daughter Mary
    Was promiscuous and out of control
    So he sent her to a girlís boarding school
    To keep her off the North Pole

    I LOVE MINCE PIES AT CHRISTMAS

    I love mince pies at Christmas
    But they donít return the favour
    I wish you could get Gaviscon
    In brandy butter flavour

    ABANDONING THE NATIVITY

    Itís ironic that schools
    Are abandoning the nativity
    When half a dozen Schoolgirls
    Could play the Virgin Mary
    Although theyíre not virgins
    They do have their own baby

    SEE THE HAPPY FACES GLOWING

    Itís Christmas time again
    See the happy faces glowing
    Putting love in every heart
    Until theyíre overflowing

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332

    Flour of England, fruit of Spain,
    Met together in a shower of rain;
    Letís make Christmas pudding again

    THEY WONíT BE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS

    They wonít be playing musical chairs
    In palaces or Royal homes
    Prince Charles prefers to play a variant
    Called Game of Thrones

    ITíS ONE OF LIFEíS INEVITABILITIES

    Itís one of lifeís inevitabilities that there will
    Definitely come a time in every family residence
    A moment when the children notice that Santa
    Uses the same wrapping paper as their parents

    MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS

    My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus
    Though he doesnít fulfil a single wish
    And he doesnít give me presents
    But heís like Santa because heís a myth

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    That's the first time I heard of Santa's daughter Mary, but he does have a wife and so I assume children to continue the family business, and I liked the comment on the irony of the lack of nativity scenes in schools.

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