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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 5

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 5

    ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS SWEATER?

    Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?
    Well this season just keeps on getting better
    Itís not that I like novelty knitwear
    But I can ogle your chest and you wonít care

    CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 5

    When youíre on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    During the Christmas season
    Walk up and say something shocking
    ďHow about I slip down your chimney,
    After midnight and fill your stockingĒ

    ARE YOU WEARING BLUE TINSEL?

    Are you wearing blue tinsel?
    Tied amidst your lustrous curls
    Not a festive hue and yet
    You have it amidst the curls
    So is it a statement or was it
    The only colour you could get

    A BLONDE GIFT

    Bimbette got a new scarf for Christmas
    But in the New Year she exchanged it
    The store took it back without a quibble
    Even though she said it was too tight a fit

    DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY

    During the Christmas holiday
    From coast to coast
    What do you call a stuffed animal?
    We call it a turkey roast

    I AM A MAN OF SIMPLE TASTES

    I am a man of simple tastes
    But obviously thereís a twist
    So all I want for Christmas
    Is Santaís naughty girl list

    ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

    All I want for Christmas is you
    Let me make this perfectly clear
    All I want for Christmas is you
    To be trampled by a herd of reindeer

    EVERYONE KEPT SAYING I SHOULD DECK THE HALLS

    Everyone kept saying I should Deck the Halls
    There is even a Christmas song about it
    So I acted when the opportunity came along
    And you know Mr and Mrs Hall didnít like it a bit

    SANTA CLAUS LOVES CHRISTMAS

    Santa Claus loves Christmas
    Itís his favourite time by far
    And thatís because he knows
    Where all the naughty girls are

    SANTA ASKED ABIGAIL

    Santa asked as a little girl climbed onto his lap,
    "And what would you like for Christmas Abigail?"
    The child stared at him open mouthed with horror
    And then she snapped "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

    WHERE THE LONELY ELVES GO

    The ďhouse of funĒ in Santaís village
    Is where lonely elves go to take pause
    And the owner proudly boasts that
    He has more hoís than Santa Claus

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the one about Bimbette and the scarf that was too tight the best.

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