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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 4

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 4

    ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS TIE?

    Are you wearing a Christmas Tie?
    Well my next question is why?
    Because it really is quite unpleasant
    Let me guess it was a present

    BAD SANTA # 4

    Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
    And his special seasonal wish
    Is for you to jingle his bells
    So you get a White Christmas

    CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 4

    When you’re on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    During the Christmas season
    Just say “I would love
    To show you the special toys
    My elves make for
    The big girls and boys”

    ARE YOU WEARING GREEN TINSEL?

    Are you wearing green tinsel?
    Tied around your lustrous curls
    Like a goddess of the woods
    Are you one of the “nature” girls?

    I FOUND HER SITTING IN MY STUDY

    I found her sitting in my study
    And she was completely in the nuddy
    So given the delicate situation
    I exploited her infatuation
    And as the church bells rang
    We started Christmas with a bang

    A RED RIBBON TIED IN YOUR HAIR

    A red ribbon tied in your hair
    You’re a lovely Christmas miss
    Come under the mistletoe
    And let me steal a Christmas kiss

    ARE YOU A CHRISTMAS FAIRY?

    Are you a Christmas Fairy?
    It’s just you’re a little bit scary
    And you also look a bit weird
    I think it’s the long ginger beard

    MRS CLAUS WAS COURTED

    Mrs Claus was courted
    By Santa and a man called Ray
    Ray was a flash Harry
    Who drove a red Chevrolet
    Well it was no contest
    At the end of the day
    Because although he had a fast car
    Santa had a faster sleigh

    I EAT EVERYTHING

    I love Christmas
    The naughty and nice
    I eat absolutely everything
    Until I pay the price
    And I make a Yule log
    That I have to flush twice

    NO FRANKINCENSE, GOLD OR MYRRH

    Melchior, Balthazar and Caspar
    Travelled long with Gifts to bring
    Not frankincense, Gold or myrrh
    Or other valuable precious things
    But non glutinous food stuffs
    As they were Wheat Free Kings

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the reason Mrs Claus chose Santa over Ray and the warning about eating too much the best.

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