ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS HAT?
Are you wearing a Christmas Hat?
Sitting so perfectly on your head
A gorgeous little tit for tat
White trimmed and crimson red
BAD SANTA # 2
Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
For the girls with a bit of curve
He reads the naughty and nice list
But prefers the "nice and naughty list”
UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 2
You can now buy a UKIP
Advent calendar
I’ve never seen one before
I don’t know what message is inside
Because for some reason
All you can hear is a slamming door
CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 2
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Walk up to them and say
“Can I take a picture of you Miss,
So I can show Santa exactly
What I want for Christmas”
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 2
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But I’m sorry to say,
You really
Needed a kidney
ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?
Are you wearing Golden tinsel?
Tied amidst your lustrous curls
It makes you look so beautiful
And more like an angel than a girl
WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY WAS OVER # 2
When Christmas Day was over
Mrs Claus needed a release
It was a very stressful time
Spreading good will and peace
So as soon as Santa was rested
She always liked to have a bit
Being partial to the "North Pole"
Well, that's what Mrs C calls it
YOU CAN KEEP THE SLEIGH # 2
You can keep the sleigh
And Rudolph and Prancer
There’s nothing Santa likes
More than a Pole Dancer
SANTA ANA AND HIS REINDEER
"Now Vortex! Now Bluster!
Now, Twister and Mizzle!
On, Cyclone! On, Humid!
On, Monsoon and Drizzle!
From their HQ in Exeter!
To the Met office ball!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
THE CLAUS’S SAT BESIDE THE FIRE
The Claus’s sat beside the fire
And Santa was heard to say
When was the last Christmas
That we did it in a sleigh?
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