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Thread: Christmas 2015 # 1

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2015 # 1

    ARE YOU WEARING A FESTIVE SWEATER?

    Are you wearing a festive sweater?
    Well this season just keeps on getting better
    And you really don’t need a bigger size
    A more perfect fit would be hard to devise

    BAD SANTA # 1

    Bad Santa is a bit of a perve
    For the girls with a bit of curve
    And he think that the naughty list
    Is really more like his to-do list

    UKIP ADVENT CALENDAR # 1

    You can now buy a UKIP
    Advent calendar
    I’ve never seen one before
    There are no Christmas messages
    It just says **** off
    Behind every door

    CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 1

    When you’re on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    During the Christmas season
    Walk up to them and say
    “They call me Jingle Bells
    Because I go all the way”

    LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 1

    Last Christmas, I gave you a scarf
    But the very next week
    You said “it was so last year”
    Bloody cheek

    ARE YOU WEARING SILVER TINSEL?

    Are you wearing Silver tinsel?
    Tied amidst your lustrous curls
    It makes you look so beautiful
    And more like an angel than a girl

    WHEN CHRISTMAS DAY WAS OVER # 1

    When Christmas Day was over
    Mrs Claus needed a release
    It was a very stressful time
    Spreading good will and peace
    So as soon as Santa was rested
    She always liked to have a bit
    And more often than not
    They’d go and do it in the sleigh

    YOU CAN KEEP THE SLEIGH # 1

    You can keep the sleigh
    And Rudolph and Prancer
    There’s nothing Santa likes
    More than a Lap Dancer

    FROSTY, WINDY, CLOUDY AND SQUALLY

    Frosty, Windy, Cloudy and Squally,
    Misty, Rainbow and Precipitous Hail
    Are the met office seven dwarfs
    And let’s not forget Princess Gale

    THE CLAUS’S LAY IN THEIR BED

    The Claus’s lay in their bed
    And Santa was heard to say
    My lap isn't the only place
    Where wishes come true

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    We'll have make sure to give Santa a lap dancer for Christmas. I also liked one where the naughty list and the to-do list were finally recognized to be the same.

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