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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 156

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 156

    ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN SWEATER?

    Are you wearing a Halloween sweater?
    Itís a bit cute and pretty in my view
    So if you donít mind my saying so
    Youíre not a proper witch are you?

    WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 11

    The golden beach was outside the hotel
    Which was really handy
    But although it looked like the brochure
    The beach was too sandy

    THE COMPANY WHO SUPPLIED

    The company who supplied
    My wifeís enhanced d-cup
    Used Helium breast implants
    So the company went tits up

    DURING THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

    During the thanksgiving holiday
    From coast to coast
    What do you call a stuffed animal?
    We call it a turkey roast

    IF THE NEVERLAND GOVERNMENT

    If the Neverland government
    Hadnít cut his disability
    Captain Hook would never
    Have turned to piracy?

    THEY MAY LOOK CUTE AND SWEET

    They may look cute and sweet
    They may look smart and dandy
    But theyíre vicious little monsters
    Whoíll rob you of all your candy

    THEY ARE PLANNING A REMAKE

    They are planning a remake
    Of the classic ďthe railway childrenĒ
    But itís a low budget version
    Called the bus replacement children

    ARE YOU WEARING TOE OF NEWT?

    Are you wearing toe of newt?
    Is it part of a witchy spell?
    Is it the witchy version of GHB?
    Iím so smitten I cannot tell

    WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 2

    We had a terrible holiday
    It was ruined by drunken pests
    Our tour operator should have
    Warned us of noisy unruly guests

    THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY

    Bimbette was preparing
    For Thanksgiving Day
    One hour per pound
    So the instructions say
    ďOne hundred and ten
    Poundís is what I weighĒ
    Bimbette said and put
    The Turkey on a baking tray
    And roasted the bird
    For almost five days

    ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN TIE?

    Are you wearing a Halloween tie?
    If thatís what itís supposed to be
    Well what is it if itís not a tie?
    Oh god itís alive and wriggly

  2. #2
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    In Sweden this is called All Saints Day.

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    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    One hundred and ten pounds is what I imagine Bimbette to weigh although I don't mind the turkeys extra plump. The sand is the most annoying thing about a beach next to the sun and the water.

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    Registered User Wes Corona's Avatar
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    They are all wonderful. A beach with too much sand is still better than a beach with irregular particles.
    Perhaps it was just an idle view, or the view as seen by an idle mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggus View Post
    Hi Dreamwoven in the UK its All Hallows Eve
    I didn't know that. And I was born and brought up in the UK.

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    I think the reason I didn't know was that Halloween is a US custom that only recently has spread to Europe.

    On the continent it is still a time to put flowers round the grave of a loved one, and in Sweden lights are lit rather than flowers (marshaller).

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    Yes, lights are more appropriate than flowers this time of the year, at least in the sub-arctic northern hemisphere.
    Last edited by Dreamwoven; 11-05-2015 at 04:18 AM.

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