A Little Bit Of Humour # 156

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN SWEATER?

Are you wearing a Halloween sweater?
It’s a bit cute and pretty in my view
So if you don’t mind my saying so
You’re not a proper witch are you?

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 11

The golden beach was outside the hotel
Which was really handy
But although it looked like the brochure
The beach was too sandy

THE COMPANY WHO SUPPLIED

The company who supplied
My wife’s enhanced d-cup
Used Helium breast implants
So the company went tits up

DURING THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY

During the thanksgiving holiday
From coast to coast
What do you call a stuffed animal?
We call it a turkey roast

IF THE NEVERLAND GOVERNMENT

If the Neverland government
Hadn’t cut his disability
Captain Hook would never
Have turned to piracy?

THEY MAY LOOK CUTE AND SWEET

They may look cute and sweet
They may look smart and dandy
But they’re vicious little monsters
Who’ll rob you of all your candy

THEY ARE PLANNING A REMAKE

They are planning a remake
Of the classic “the railway children”
But it’s a low budget version
Called the bus replacement children

ARE YOU WEARING TOE OF NEWT?

Are you wearing toe of newt?
Is it part of a witchy spell?
Is it the witchy version of GHB?
I’m so smitten I cannot tell

WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 2

We had a terrible holiday
It was ruined by drunken pests
Our tour operator should have
Warned us of noisy unruly guests

THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY

Bimbette was preparing
For Thanksgiving Day
One hour per pound
So the instructions say
“One hundred and ten
Pound’s is what I weigh”
Bimbette said and put
The Turkey on a baking tray
And roasted the bird
For almost five days

ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN TIE?

Are you wearing a Halloween tie?
If that’s what it’s supposed to be
Well what is it if it’s not a tie?
Oh god it’s alive and wriggly

[Dreamwoven]

In Sweden this is called All Saints Day.

[YesNo]

One hundred and ten pounds is what I imagine Bimbette to weigh although I don't mind the turkeys extra plump. The sand is the most annoying thing about a beach next to the sun and the water.

[Wes Corona]

They are all wonderful. A beach with too much sand is still better than a beach with irregular particles.

[Biggus]

Hi Dreamwoven in the UK its All Hallows Eve

[Biggus]

I agree YN but the most annoying are the tourists

[Biggus]

Or Pebbles Wes they are very annoying

[Dreamwoven]

Hi Dreamwoven in the UK its All Hallows Eve

I didn't know that. And I was born and brought up in the UK.

[Dreamwoven]

I think the reason I didn't know was that Halloween is a US custom that only recently has spread to Europe.

On the continent it is still a time to put flowers round the grave of a loved one, and in Sweden lights are lit rather than flowers (marshaller).

[Biggus]

I think I would prefer that

[Dreamwoven]

Yes, lights are more appropriate than flowers this time of the year, at least in the sub-arctic northern hemisphere.