ARE YOU WEARING A SPOOKY SWEATER?
Are you wearing a spooky sweater?
Well there’s no attempt to hide
The ample contents so I would say
You could turn me to the dark side
WHINGING BRITS ABROAD #10
While we were in Spain
I bought a Rolex from an Algerian
Which turned out to be a fake
I’ll never see those 10 Euros again
THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE
There is a special place
In hell for people that play
Any Christmas music
Before Thanksgiving Day
SHE MAY BE A WITCH
She may be a witch
And she may do spells
Which sounds like poety
As far as anyone tells
So just beware of
Unnatural smells
Or you’ll fall victim
To one of her spells
I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT’S SLEEP
I had a terrible night’s sleep
So I went to see Miss Alconbury
About a Chemistry question
But apparently we don’t have any
SHE ONLY COME TO ME WITH A PROBLEM
She only come to me with a problem
When she wants my help solving it
But if she’s looking for sympathy
Then she knows that I’m not fit
So her girlfriends must fill that need
Because I’m an unsympathetic git
DON’T MOAN ABOUT FUEL ECONOMY
Don’t moan about fuel Economy
Please don’t keep going on
Spare a thought for Dr Who
His Tardis get 30 years to the gallon
ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN TOP?
Are you wearing a Halloween Top?
Well I very much like what I see
Because there isn’t very much of it
And the contents are bursting free
WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 1
We went on a self-catering
Luxury break in Bognor
But the fully equipped kitchen
Didn’t have an egg separator
ARE YOU WEARING A TURKEY SUIT?
Are you wearing a turkey suit?
I really love holiday pranks
But you look like a total arse
And for that I give thanks
DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOIL AND TROUBLE
Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Shake it shake it at the double
Don’t drink much or you’re in trouble