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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 154

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 154

    ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN CARDIGAN?

    Are you wearing a Halloween Cardigan?
    A cardigan? On all hallows eve
    A “cardie” doesn’t say “night of the dead”
    So I don’t think you really believe

    WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 9

    When we were on holiday
    My wife was bitten by a mosquito
    Nowhere in the brochure
    Did it mention mosquitoes

    THEY’VE STARTED A BREEDING PROGRAM

    They’ve started a breeding program
    At our local petting zoo
    But visitors are worried it will
    Become a heavy petting zoo

    I WAS HANGING OUT BY THE POOL

    I was hanging out by the pool
    When I was on holiday in Spain
    But someone kindly let me know
    So I tucked it back in again

    MARRIAGE IS LIKE A PACK OF CARDS

    Marriage is like a pack of cards
    For when the first deal is made
    All you need is a couple of Hearts
    And a Diamond to make the grade
    But by the end of the endeavour
    You will want a Club and a Spade

    I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A WICCAN GIRL

    I lost my virginity to a Wiccan girl
    Who was a scrawny little witch
    With the reputation for being
    A bit of a thorny little *****
    She mellowed to me in my bed
    And I was left with a horny itch

    MY DOG BIT ME ON THE NUTS

    My dog bit me on the nuts
    When I accidentally kicked her
    My wife said it was karma
    But I thought she was crosser

    SHE WAS SO DRUNK AT THE PARTY

    She was so drunk at the party
    When her period came on
    She mistakenly used a party popper
    Instead of a tampon

    WHEN I SAW MY WIFE’S BOTOX BILL

    When I saw my wife’s Botox bill
    I couldn’t believe my eyes
    I pointed it out to my wife
    But she didn’t look surprised

    ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN WAISTCOAT?

    Are you wearing a Halloween waistcoat?
    Oh I like the way the buttons glow
    And the whole thing luminesces
    It really is very Edgar Allan Poe

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    They should probably warn about the mosquitoes. I also like the one about tucking back in what's hanging out.

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