ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN EARRINGS?
Are you wearing Halloween earrings?
They rather fill me with dread?
Please answer me one question
Are they real shrunken heads?
CRAFT IS AN ACRONYM
CRAFT is an acronym for
“Can’t remember a ****ing thing”
And it’s an Acronym for
“Can’t remember a ****ing thing”
WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 8
We had to line up outside
To catch the sightseeing boat
And there was no air-conditioning
Not even when we got afloat
WHY CAN'T HOBO’S PLAY BASEBALL?
Why can't hobo’s play baseball?
At the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome?
Well they say it’s nothing personal
It’s just that they can't find home
NO MATTER YOUR PERSUASION
No matter your persuasion
Sex is not the answer
Sex is actually the question
And “Yes” is the answer
THE PRIMARY SCHOOL TEACHER ASKED
The primary school teacher asked
Name something we have today Ellie
That we didn’t have ten years ago
Ellie replied immediately, “Me”
I THINK MY CHICKENS ARE POSSESSED
I think my chickens are possessed
My wife is very much distressed
Their feathers are all dishevelled
And the eggs they lay are Devilled
ON THE WARD FOR UNWELL BOYS
On the ward for unwell boys
There were a selection of toys
Operation was the particular game
That Tom asked for by name
But Sister said without hesitation
“There’s a waiting list for operation”
ARE YOU WEARING STRIPED STOCKINGS?
Are you wearing striped stockings?
It must be that time of the year again
I know you think they’re cute, but
Your legs look like necrotic candy canes
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