ARE YOU WEARING THE BOSS’S HAT?
Are you wearing the boss’s hat?
I laugh when you call me that
And based on what I spend on kebabs
Either on my own or with the lads
It all adds up to a fair amount of money
Calling me boss is too true to be funny
NIMBY IS AN ACRONYM
NIMBY is an acronym for
“Not In My Back Yard”
If you want to find a Nimby
It really isn’t very hard
WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 5
We flew to the West Indies
It took nine hours to get there
It took the Americans three hours
This seems very unfair
I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I DISLIKE F1
I can’t tell you how much I dislike F1
I only watch as a last resort
I find the F1 function key on my laptop
More interesting than the sport
I WENT TO A TALK ABOUT THE WHEELBARROW
I went to a talk about the Wheelbarrow
Just another boring gardening talk
But I was wrong, it was totally enthralling
Next week’s position is the crab walk
I VISITED NIGEL FARAGE’S GARDEN
I visited Nigel Farage’s garden
Well it was hardly National Trust
The patch of lawn was really ****
But the borders were very robust
MY GARDENER HAS OCD
My gardener has OCD
His herb beds are alphabetized
I asked how he found the time
“It’s next to the Sage” he replied
MY SISTER IS A GIANT IN JOURNALISM
My sister is a giant in journalism
And her prowess is eternal
Standing over six feet high
She’s on the Tall Street Journal
YOU CAN TRAIN ANIMALS TO DO ANYTHING
You can train animals to do anything
I don’t know where it will stop
We have a Pole dancing sheep
In the window of the kebab shop
AFTER MANY YEARS OF HARD WORK
After many years of hard work
Dedication, and repetitive training
Honing my craft at small events
Being informative and entertaining
So when the Olympics came around
My confidence was brimming
But I still ended up commentating
On the synchronized swimming