ARE YOU WEARING A FISH’S TAIL?
Are you wearing a fish’s tail?
And is it actually swishy?
I guess you must be a mermaid
You’re a very dishy little Fishy
BANANA IS AN ACRONYM
BANANA is an acronym for
"Build Absolutely Nothing
Anywhere Near Anybody"
That’s real forward thinking
I WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT FEMINISM
I wanted to write a book about feminism
About women achieving their destiny
A ground breaking piece of literature
Unfortunately my boyfriend wouldn't let me
WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 4
We went to Spain on Holiday
But we didn’t like it a bit
The local supermarket
Didn’t even sell a proper biscuit
I WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT MACHISMO
I wanted to write a book about machismo
About real men achieving their destiny
A ground breaking piece of literature
Unfortunately my wife wouldn't let me
ARE YOU WEARING EAU DE TOILETTE?
Are you wearing eau de toilette?
Well it’s starting to make me gag
It also reminds me of something
Oh I know it’s a tarts handbag
VAGAZZLING
Vagazzling is a really bizarre
Thing to do to your bits, ok
Because the only men that
Find it attractive will be gay
I’VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF COMPLEMENTARY MEDICINE
I’ve never been a fan of complementary medicine
But when all else failed I decided to try it
I was given helium as part of my treatment
And I can’t speak highly enough about it
AFTER BEING CAUGHT USING
After being caught using an
Abhorrent substance in plain view
The shamed sportsman has promised
Never again to touch tofu
I WAS CAMPING OUT AT THE WEEKEND
I was camping out at the weekend
In the evergreen forests of Caledonia
But I was confused when I discovered
The pine trees smelt of air freshener
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