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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 145

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 145

    ARE YOU WEARING DENIM SHORTS?

    Are you wearing denim shorts?
    They are cheeky by all reports
    The Denim certainly comes up short
    You must get some bawdy retorts

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 349

    Little Miss Muffet
    Sat on a tuffet ,
    Eating of curds and whey;
    And if you ever wondered
    What a tuffet is
    Youíll find them on Ebay

    DILF IS AN ACRONYM

    DILF is an acronym for
    ďDad Iíd like to ****Ē
    I got one that says
    ďWhoís the daddyĒ, just my luck

    THE IRISH CELEBRATE ST PATRICKS DAY

    The Irish celebrate St Patricks Day
    And I have always wondered why
    As they have three patron saints
    Perhaps Patrick had a better PR guy

    HE WAS NOT BLESSED WITH LOOKS

    He was not blessed with looks
    And had a look to be pitied
    He had a face like a fit, but
    You couldnít tell what it fitted

    HIS FEATURES WERE AT ODDS

    His features were at odds
    Individually each was a quirk
    His face didnít seem to understand
    The value of teamwork

    NEGLECTED WIFE

    She was a good wife but was neglected
    She had no marital attention paid
    Her husband was always in the pub
    Blowing the froth off another barmaid

    ALTHOUGH IíM CLEARLY NOT A GIRL

    Although Iím clearly not a girl I do
    Understand the concept of a trainer bra
    But if there are similar aims with trainer socks
    Then I donít know what they are

    MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR IS FAT AND BALD

    My next door neighbour is fat and bald
    And just sits around all day
    Heís looks like the Buddha, but without
    The enlightenment Iíd say

    THE DEFINITION OF OXYMORON

    The definition of oxymoron
    Well that should be a breeze
    Iíll give you a clue, itís not
    A person too stupid to breathe

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the ones about the oxymoron and the neglected wife the best.

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