ARE YOU WEARING SNOWSHOES?
Are you wearing snowshoes?
Blimey those things cost a packet
Hang on after closer inspection
Your snowshoe is a tennis racket
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 348
Girls and boys, come out to play
The moon doth shine as bright as day
They drink whatever is plentiful and cheap
And end up legless in the street
MILF IS AN ACRONYM
MILF is an acronym for
“Mum I’d like to ****”
But I’d end up with a Mother
Superior knowing my luck
GROUNDHOG DAY 2015
I heard that Punxsutawney Phil had last year
Bitten the towns Mayor's on the ear
It spoilt the photo opportunity alright
I wonder if that would be a sound bite?
MY WIFE IS A SEX OBJECT
My wife is a sex object
Though I still have respect
But whenever I ask for sex,
She will always object
ACCORDING TO A POLL
Women’s silk Panties are Not
The best thing on earth,
According to a poll they are
Next to the best thing on earth
APPLE ARE DESIGNING A HOUSE
Apple are designing a house
But the one thing nobody knows
Is whether or not the iHome
Is going to have Windows
THE TRUTH ABOUT CANDY CRUSH
When I first heard the name mentioned
I had a flash back to tell the truth
I was convinced that Candy Crush
Was a minor porn star from my youth
I AM A QUITE REMARKABLE PERSON
I am a quite remarkable person
And that’s a matter of fact
But the trouble with being fantastic
Is that Opposites attract
ARE YOU WEARING YOUR BIRTHDAY CLOTHES? # 1
Are you wearing your birthday clothes?
Well if I might be so bold
Don’t just sit there
Or you might catch cold
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