A Manifesto Written by the Only Sane Person on the Planet
a manifesto by Wolf Larsen
Warning: there are some naughty images in this work of literature. So if you are very religious or if you’re against sex than stop reading now! You have been warned!
Poetry should no longer be straight lines on a page!
In fact, poetry should not be written on paper!
Poetry should not be written on computers either!
Poetry should be written with triangles & rectangles & circles! Starting now!
The building blocks of poetry should no longer be words! From now on poetry should be built with anything but words!
Nobody with a degree in English literature should write poetry anymore! Instead, construction workers should write poetry! Architects should write poetry! And deranged people from the insane asylum should write poetry!
From now on all poet laureates should flip hamburgers at McDonald’s! Instead, a King of Poetry should be elected from all qualified insane people at insane asylums across the world!
All literary magazines must be written with paintbrushes on canvases!
All painting will now become literature! And all literature will become painting!
All poetry shall be written while sitting in the electric chair!
Execution squads will be hired at once from qualified thugs on street corners throughout the world! These execution squads will conduct correct grammatical infrastructure in every city in every nation. Correct grammatical infrastructure shall be manufactured from qualified testicles of English teachers from exclusively non-English speaking countries.
McDonald’s hamburgers are hereby proclaimed the standard in literary excellence! All poets should try to be true to the great literary tradition of McDonald’s hamburgers!
All non-poets shall be castrated at once!
Knowledge of correct grammatical infrastructure shall hereby disqualify one from writing literature. Space aliens from across the universe will be invited to teach us correct grammatical infrastructure at once!
All whorehouses will immediately begin conducting poetry readings at once! Houses of Parliament & Congress throughout the world may be considered honorary whorehouses!
All manifestoes written by Wolf Larsen (like this one) shall hereby be reproduced with spermatozoa & immaculate conception in love hotels everywhere!
Failure to comply with this manifesto will result in world wars one, two, & three.
Thank you for your attention! You may return to masturbating now.