ARE YOU WEARING A TUXEDO?

Are you wearing a tuxedo?
Itís so loud it makes a racket
No James Bond doesnít wear one
He wears a proper dinner jacket

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 343

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
I donít care if theyíre
One a penny,
Its only January

ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER CARDIGAN?

Are you wearing an Easter Cardigan?
Or perhaps I should ask you why?
Itís a gloriously sunny day
And thereís not a cloud in the sky

YOU CAN LIKEN IT TO RUDOLF

Why does the Easter Bunny
Have such a shiny nose?
You can liken it to Rudolf
The thing actually glows
Well the answer is obvious
And I donít mean to offend
But itís because his powder puff
Is stuck to his rear end

LETíS GET THIS STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL # 1

Letís get this straight once and for all
Easter does not commemorate the time
When Jesus hid eggs in the gardens
Of Gethsemane for the disciples to find

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS

When life gives you lemons
Making lemonade is the trick
When life gives you melons
Youíre probably dyslexic

MY YOUNGER SISTER HAS SOME HABITS

My younger sister has some habits
That expose her to certain dangers
One of which is her innate ability
To annoy complete strangers

GEORGE WASHINGTON CHOPPED DOWN

George Washington chopped down
His father's favourite cherry tree,
Then George admitted doing it
He was rewarded for his honesty
When his father didn't punish him
Well those are the accepted facts
But I think we should consider
That George was still holding the ax

THE ONLY CUTTING EDGE THAT

The only cutting edge that
Gets sharper through life
The more itís been used
Is the tongue of my wife

WHEN YOU HAVE TEENAGERS

When you have teenagers
The more elaborate the excuse
The greater the likelihood
That itís not actually the truth