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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 133

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 133

    ARE YOU WEARING A MANKINI?

    Are you wearing a mankini?
    Well the coverage is teeny
    And you’re as fat as Mussolini
    And I can see you’re weeny

    AN OSTRICH'S EYE IS BIGGER

    An ostrich's eye is bigger
    Than its brain, apparently
    I have known quite a few
    People afflicted similarly

    YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE CLAPPED OUT

    You know when you are clapped out
    And not vital any more
    When the doc tells you
    To slow down instead of the law

    ARE SAFARI PARKS DISCRIMINATORY?

    Are Safari parks discriminatory?
    Yes they most certainly are
    Because they make no attempt
    To accommodate those without a car

    SHE WAS MARRIED TO HIM

    She was married to him
    For three years, just over
    And didn't know he drank
    Until he came home sober

    HAPPINESS TRANSACTION

    Money can't buy you happiness
    Isn’t that supposed to be the deal?
    Well I beg to differ, because
    I bought myself a Happy Meal

    AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART

    An affair of the heart
    And at my age too
    Well yes I know it’s
    A bypass that’s true

    AS THEY STOOD BEFORE THE ALTAR

    As they stood before the altar
    At the proudest moment of their life
    The Reverend said “I now pronounce
    You Husband and Wife”
    “You may now update your Facebook status”

    A MAN AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE

    A man at the press conference,
    Stood up at the podium,
    Not one of the lycra clad blokes,
    And declared he was spokesman
    Asked to clarify he said
    “I’m the man in charge of spokes”

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 346

    As I was going by Charing Cross
    The station was closed of course
    And a sign said outside of the station
    A replacement bus service is in operation

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the ones about the doc putting the guy on a lower speed limit than the law and the wife not knowing her husband drank until he came home sober the best.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by YesNo View Post
    the wife not knowing her husband drank until he came home sober the best.
    Ha, ha! Good one!

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