Mayday

[Hawkman]

Eyes closed, she lies as if asleep on satin sheets,
shoes off, with ankles crossed
a scarf entangled round her feet.

Serene, at peace, quite still;
her gloved hand, necklace-clutching,
but not from fear of theft, or loss.

Her bed is not so soft as she,
though it yielded to her touch,
distorted round her resting form,

glossy, sleek and crushed,
the roof of a parked Cadillac
embraced her when it caught her fall.

[NikolaiI]

I like to see you come out with some lyrical beauty, Hawkman - very lovely poem!

[DieterM]

Not been around for quite a while, and now I come back, I stumble upon this… a chilling beauty, this one, Hawk! Well done!

[Hawkman]

Nicolai & Dieter: Thank you both for reading. I'm still not quite happy with S2 L3. I don't like the contradiction between "Serene, etc." and "fearful of theft or loss" which in another draft made sense, but not this one. I need to change it.

I'd agree with your description, "chilling beauty," Dieter but I'm not sure that Nicolai's "lovely poem" is quite how I'd describe it, though it is lyrical, I guess. However, I'm glad you both like it. It refers to a real event, which occurred, as the title suggests, on 1st May, although there is another connotation to the word. The year was 1947.

Live and be well - H

[NikolaiI]

It isn't chilling to me because I know for certain that death is infinite life - you might ask how I know, and I would only smile, and reply - where is death for a photon?

If you want chilling, to me. . well, these are

joan baez in the pines

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4-0L8miBv4


leadbelly - gallows pole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye2N_2ce3QE

and like, the Erlking by Goethe. .

but that is okay, dear friend.

I didn't catch the Mayday reference, glad you explained it - I thought it was just mayday as in, mayday on a ship or so forth.

[Hawkman]

Hi Nikolai,

One can't deny the charm and purity of Baez's voice, but I do find the song a little dreary, but that's just me. I wouldn't call the song chilling though, and the other link, definitely not, I'm afraid. Just not to my taste.

This version of The Erlking I reckon qualifies though

With regard to death being infinite life, the prospect palls if one subscribes to the belief that suicides are condemned to staff the afterlife in admin roles

As for my poem, I've tweaked the problem line.

Thanks again for your comments.

Live and be well - H

[NikolaiI]

Here is a link to it in English.

The Erlking by Goethe

[Bar22do]

Another excellent poem in this (budding?) aspect of your poetic sensibility and skill.

I love it all but especially "the yielding bed/the crushed roof of a Cadillac" parallel/contrast, subtle and powerful.

Thanks and bravo,

Bar

[Hawkman]

Hello, Bar. Thanks for stopping by. Budding? Well, spring is coming on; 'tis the season for new growth, and all that... Not exactly new, but renewing, perhaps. So glad you found it good and worthy of comment. A somewhat haunting subject, it seemed to demand a verse or two and I felt compelled to pen them.

Thanks again for reading and for your kind words.

Live and be well - H