NO! YOU DON'T IRON FOUR LEAF CLOVERS
No! You don't iron four leaf clovers
That something you must never do
Because let’s be honest you don’t
Want to go pressing your luck do you
ARE YOU WEARING A STOVEPIPE HAT?
Are you wearing a Stovepipe Hat?
Its height certainly exceeds
Are you trying to look taller?
Well a very wise man heeds
That any man is only as tall
As the sum of his deeds
ON ST PATRICK’S DAY
On St Patrick’s Day
You know an Irish rover
Has had enough to drink
When they’re Dublin over
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 339
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch a tiger by the toe,
If he hollers, don’t let him go,
And if you do run like hell
THE FIRST TESTICULAR PROTECTION
The first testicular protection
Known as a "box" was introduced
In 1874
Whereas the first cranial protection
Known as a “helmet” was introduced
In 1974
So it only took a hundred years
For Cricketers to figure out the score
That balls shouldn’t be more
Important than brains anymore
YOU CAN DRINK GREEN BEER
You can drink green beer
On any St Patricks Day
It counts as a vegetable
And one of your five a day
I WAS JUST SITTING THERE IN THE PARK
I was just sitting there in the park
And wondered why absentmindedly
The Frisbee was getting bigger
And bigger and then it hit me
I GOT VERY DRUNK ON ST PATRICKS DAY
I got very drunk on St Patricks Day
So I took a bus home to save any fuss
This may not be a big deal to most
But I had never before driven a bus
THE CHILDREN LIKE TO SING
The children like to sing
In the family broom, broom
Anything and everything
The kids call them cartoons
MANY THINGS CAN BE PRESERVED
Many things can be preserved
In alcohol, the list nears infinity
But among that endless list
One of them is not your dignity
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