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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 130

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 130

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 365

    Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
    Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
    If I can get one from Pets at home

    IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 11

    If your blind date is described to you
    As ďYoung at heartĒ itís just a trick
    Read between the lines and see theyíre
    Trying to fob you off with some old geriatric

    ARE YOU WEARING A SNOOD?

    Are you wearing a snood?
    Well I donít like to be rude
    But isnít it a bit of a palaver
    And it looks like a balaclava

    HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU HEARD IT SAID?

    How often have you heard it said?
    ďI am taking it one day at a timeĒ
    Well no **** Sherlock donít we all
    That is after all the nature of time

    THE MAN GOES ON TOP AND THE WOMAN UNDERNEATH

    ďThe man goes on top and the woman underneathĒ
    That was my sex education as my mother said
    So as we were very naÔve back then, so for the first
    Three years of marriage we slept in bunk beds

    WHAT IS THE POINT FOR WOMAN

    What is the point for woman of a certain age
    Wearing a see through negligee
    When all the men of her acquaintance arenít able
    To see through it anyway

    IíM DATING A SKINNY PAIR OF TWINS

    Iím dating a pair of skinny twins
    Theyíre little more than skin and bone
    And they are anorexic, itís rather like
    A case of two birds and one stone

    MONEY MAY NOT INDEED BE THE KEY

    Money may not indeed be the key
    To happiness, but
    If you have enough money you can
    Have your own key cut

    WHY CAN'T YOU RUN THROUGH A CAMP?

    Why can't you run through a camp?
    Because that would cause grammatical offence
    You cannot run through a camp at all
    It would obviously ďbe ranĒ because it's past tents

    IíVE BEEN DOING A SELF-HELP COURSE

    Iíve been doing a self-help course
    But it hasnít helped a bit
    Iíve attended all the classes
    And read the literature, which is ****
    I canít build myself a mountain
    Or catch rainbows and such,
    Iím better off at home watching telly
    And it doesnít cost so much

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I've always wondered how one could not take one day at a time. Having enough money to get the key to happiness cut is probably enough money. I also like the see-through negligee that her male friends are too old to see through and the bunk beds.

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