Forgive me?
I've gotten very good at forgiving myself.

Very good at giving myself
the command
to give
human companionship another try.

I have made errors -
In fact, more than anyone else.

And everyone of them has affected me more greatly. . .
than I could ever say.

Yet equally I know, that to learn I must throw
myself into the fray

Again and again, with ever strong enthusiasm,
To wish to make a thousand mistakes.

To learn, to live by them,
how to forgive myself a thousand times,

And try to tell you again,
Give up, let go, and get it all.

I know the strength of pride,
the value of never showing weakness -
not pride, exactly,
but the similar activity of never showing weakness?
or is that therefore pride?
in any case.
sure, it's good.
never show weakness.
or is it, never show inflexibility?

just let me out of this strait-jacket.
Let me go.
and then love me again -
for I have been through the silly putty
a thousand times and again
I want to be your friend.

I gave you my heart, my soul,
literally, 1/4th of my soul.
or 1/8th.
or 10th
I don't know the reflection or fraction

I don't know how much I lost.
Myself, a part of myself,

But there was still - the day -
everything the same.

And so, what's worth more?
A gift, for a day?

I have no wish - to persuade -
any more.

Is it just that persuasion is confusion?
or games, to be lost in illusion?

There is only thing I can say.
within me there has never been anything but an infinite wish

to get out of illusion,
to have peace, and health, and happiness forever,

And to know the secret of the universe -
what is there?

But on top of all this - I wish for peace for me and you.

I cannot co-exist with your unhappiness.

And throughout, forever my life,

the happenings, the changes,
the happiness and bliss,
and sometimes grey,
it all is like this:
Counting
the hours
and the waves.
So I've gotten so cool,
so lame, and forgotten school,

Throughout - forever my life,

this empathy,
follows along and at times I think - cursed, cursed be,

oh set me free!

and then at times like this I think,

and realize. . .

Those feelings -

This blue sky ahead;

This infinite horizon and ocean:

Envelop me and let me forget all things.

The truth is - we all should set sail, leave forever,

and come back a few years hence.

Why do we do it on Lit-net? Because we ought to do it in reality.

Leave everything for so many years, and then come back to it when you are wise.

Only try to make decisions after you have lived through the eternal struggles, and are free,

And able to make decisions that create peace, and do not create suffering.

Anymore.



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I wonder if you get this.

?
!