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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 129

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 129

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 364

    King and Queen of Cantelon,
    How many miles to Babylon?
    Well that would depend upon
    Where you are starting from

    IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 10

    If your blind date is described to you
    As “A Good Listener” don’t go all romantic
    Because it will be worse than it sounds
    And they’ll be Borderline Autistic

    ARE YOU WEARING A SWEATER VEST?

    Are you wearing a sweater vest?
    Are you doing some kind of test?
    Checking how observant people are
    And see who notices this faux pas

    THE DEVIL LANDED ON THE CHURCH ROOF

    The devil landed on the church roof
    The vicar said “Show him your cross”
    So the curate went outside and shouted
    “Piss off you red horned piece of dross”

    IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE + 1 CHANNELS

    If you are going to have + 1 channels
    There should be a – 1 for the viewer
    Which would automatically erase anything
    You may have recorded in error

    FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH’S

    Fast food Drive through’s
    I’m afraid, are a step too far
    And I find them quite expensive
    By the time you’ve hired a car

    DON’T PICK UP HITCHHIKERS

    “Don’t pick up hitchhikers”
    I was told “don’t do it ever”
    Unless of course it was you
    Who actually ran them over

    IT WAS DURING A CHESS GAME

    It was during a Chess game
    That I remember him saying
    “Let’s make this more interesting”
    So we agreed to stop playing

    IT’S NOT REALLY ANY COMFORT

    It’s not really any comfort
    If someone dies while doing
    Something that they loved
    When they were doing Heroin

    AFTER TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE

    After ten years of marriage
    I am divorced by choice
    Regrettably I have to say
    That it wasn’t my choice

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Nice ones. I particularly liked the ones about how to deal with the devil on the church roof and how to make a chess game more interesting.

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