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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 128

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 128

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 363

    How many miles to Babylon?
    Are measured in the blood
    Of the innocents

    IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 9

    If your blind date is described to you
    As “Wanting a Soulmate” then watch out
    Because it will be worse than it sounds
    They’ll be a stalker without a doubt

    I WAS JUST SITTING IN THE STAND

    I was just sitting in the stand
    And wondered why absentmindedly
    The football was getting bigger
    And bigger and then it hit me

    ARE YOU WEARING A TANK TOP?

    Are you wearing a tank top?
    Someone should’ve yelled stop
    I know charity shops are thrifty
    But it’s dated in nineteen fifty

    WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE BATHROOM

    When you walk into the bathroom
    You’re American
    When you walk out of the bathroom
    You’re American
    But while you are in the bathroom
    European

    I THINK GOOGLE IS A WOMAN

    I think Google is a woman because
    It won't let me finish my question
    Or a sentence for that matter, before
    It starts making other suggestions

    I AM WEARING A CONTENTED EXPRESSION?

    I am wearing a contented expression?
    And all that is necessarily attached
    I’m a man and at the end of the day
    And if it itches, it will be scratched

    SINCE I RETIRED I HAVE RESISTED THE TEMPTATION

    Since I retired I have resisted the temptation
    To tidy the cellar, the garage or the attic
    Because the moment I accomplished the task
    My grown up kids would fill them with their ****

    WHAT DO PENSIONERS?

    What do pensioners?
    Consider long lunches to be?
    Perfectly normal I think
    At least as far as I can see

    AT ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF AGE SHE WAS ASKED

    At one hundred years of age she was asked
    At her age what thing gave her the most pleasure?
    She thought for a moment before she replied
    The most satisfying thing was “No peer pressure”

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the ones about peer pressure, Google and the bathroom the best.

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