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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 127

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 127

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 362

    Are you sleeping, are you sleeping,
    Brother John? Brother John?
    Your alarm is buzzing,
    Your alarm is buzzing
    Wake up John, Wake up John

    IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 8

    If your blind date is described to you
    As “Professional” then start to twitch
    Because it will be worse than it sounds
    And she will definitely be a Certified *****

    I ALWAYS WEAR A SEAT BELT

    I always wear a seat belt
    Even though they do constrict
    But I couldn't work out how
    To do it up and then it clicked

    I CAN’T PLAY MY INSTRUMENT

    I can’t play my instrument
    We were mismatched
    So I am selling my guitar
    No strings attached

    I WENT AWAY TO A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY

    I went away to a third world country in secret
    Because I knew the British doctors would scoff
    So I went ahead and had a cheap circumcision
    But although it was a lot cheaper it was a rip off

    I LOVE THE HUMAN BODY

    I love the human body though some
    Bits more than others I must confess
    And I thank God for nipples, as without
    Them breasts would be pointless

    OUTSIDE THE DRUG REHAB CENTRE

    Outside the drug rehab centre
    There was something a little crass
    There was a sign on the lawn
    That said “Keep off the Grass”

    I AM NOT HANDY ABOUT THE HOUSE

    I am not handy about the house
    Or with the “Do It Yourself” game
    And when a book falls on my head
    I've only got my shelf to blame

    DARTH VADER WAS SOMETHING OF A BAKER

    Darth Vader was something of a baker
    It was a side of him he liked to hide
    He wasn’t good and when he made biscuits
    They were always a little on the dark side

    ARE YOU WEARING A TIN HAT?

    Are you wearing a tin hat?
    What kind of headgear is that?
    Are you wearing it because, because
    You’re off to see the Wizard of Oz

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I liked the ones about the shelf and keeping off the grass at the drug rehab center the best. They all had their witty moments.

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