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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 122

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 122

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 357

    Did you ever see a lassie?
    A lassie, a lassie?
    I’m not sure terms of endearment
    Of that kind are strictly PC

    WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 4

    We have loved eggs
    Since we were children
    Chuckie Eggs my dad
    Used to call them

    IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 3

    If your blind date is described to you
    As “Well Educated” the choice is yours
    It will probably be worse than it sounds
    And means they had sex with all their tutors

    FROSTY THE SNOWMAN REALLY LOST HIS TEMPER

    Frosty the snowman really lost his temper
    And his behaviour was an absolute disgrace
    He kept going on about an aggressive carrot
    And he kept saying "just get out of my face"

    DIETING TIP # 9

    Things licked off knives and spoons,
    Which can be any soupcon or delicacy,
    During the process of preparation
    Are absolutely devoid of calories

    FOGHORN LEGHORN HAD A GIRLFRIEND

    Foghorn Leghorn had a girlfriend
    And her name was feathery Beth
    But her feather all pointed the wrong way
    And she tickled herself to death

    LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 4

    Is there anything more annoying?
    Than when checking your tyre pressure
    And you're trying to get a reading
    Your pressure gauge lets out half the air

    ARE YOU WEARING ANY?

    Are you wearing any?
    Beneath your tartan gear
    Because if your kilt flares up
    There will be a raucous cheer

    WE LEARNED ABOUT FOOD GROUPS TODAY AT SCHOOL

    We learned about food groups today at school
    Confections, vegetables, meat and protein
    Dairy, fruits, grains, pulses and legumes
    But what about Alcohol, Nicotine and Caffeine

    OVER CHRISTMAS THE AMBULANCE SERVICE

    Over Christmas the ambulance service
    Were “super busy”, meaning it was hectic
    I’ve never heard that unit of measurement
    So I’m not sure if it’s imperial or metric

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Too bad about Foghorn Leghorn's girlfriend. To avoid the problem of half the air going out of the bicycle tire, I don't check it except to squeeze the tire to see if it feels right or not.

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