I am not really a writer, nor do I have great or even mediocre command of grammar or words. I was compelled to write something. Thought I would post it here.
The Beginning
Close your eyes and your thoughts. There is nothing for all eternity. The darkness pervades. Nothing ever was, nothing ever will be. No ideas, no objects, no life. It is as if a black hole sucked up the whole universe, and then the hole itself disappeared.
This is the beginning. Every beginning must come from something. You came from your mother, and your mother from her mother. Roll back the clock far enough and eventually there is no past, only emptiness. In this all-pervading silence and void, there was a first feeling.
The feeling was nothing. I am nothing, there is nothing. At first, you feel nothing at a single point. It is as if all existence is a spec of dust, and that spec is you. A curiosity grows that does not yet know why it is curious. From this yearning curiosity, you feel the nothingness expand.
What am I? I am nothing. There is no loneliness, no longing for company. There is the feeling for growth. I want to learn. I want more.
A great connect must be passed. From an empty void to the first thought, growth. What does it mean to grow, what am I growing, how do I grow? I am nothing, and all is me. What if there was two of me? So I divided. I am twice. That was easy. I will divide again. I am 4. Again, I am 8. I am 16. I am 32. I divide myself into infinity.
Now I am one, but now I am also infinite. I have become infinite me. Yet I do not feel larger. I am still one. One, but yet infinite. Each of my parts feel the same as the whole. I notice no difference, but I feel I am many.
I cannot grow by dividing. What if I made my parts unique, so that each was different from one another.
Each of my parts are all me, and all think as me. And I have no other thoughts. How do I grow, I know nothing, I am nothing. In order for me to grow I must create something. This something must let myself learn and grow so I may learn more about what I am, what this nothingness is.
I thought long about what can be made. All the universe is dark and blank, where can I send myself to learn? And then I realized, there must be an opposite of this. From this infinite darkness, there must be an infinite everything, an infinite brightness.
From this, I made light. My first creation.
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