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Thread: Backyards and Bathroom Mirrors

  1. #1
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Backyards and Bathroom Mirrors

    In the bathroom
    We reflect
    How little we
    Value each other
    Yet look at me
    Watching you
    Keeping a firm grip
    On your reality

    So come
    Make a spectacle
    I can behold
    Since it feels so good

    Back here in the yard
    I kneel as
    I delve
    Into the thick overgrowth
    And hit the spot
    So I truly appreciate
    The great distance
    Between us
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  2. #2
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    Keep knocking back the Chateau Nuit St. Wagga Wagga to keep the neurones firing on all cylinders, Delta. You're on a roll! A nice reflective piece pondering on the relationship between the subject and the eidolon. Or possibly tending the grave of the ex, or hope, or any of the above . Seriously, though, I like the crispness and precision of this piece. Very expressive and concise. Much enjoyed.

    Live and be well - H

  3. #3
    Translator Mohammad Ahmad's Avatar
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    A man when his real size is mirrored on his eyes will rethink to see life is just an empty bubble and will be got amazing to see everything is out of sorrow!
    To appreciate the real distance of such a shadow though the environment whether at a conversation or just with a oneself-talk this means you aren't surrendered but furthermore you are in the understanding point.
    My country is the Home of Honour And
    Without honour I haven't Home
    MMA

  4. #4
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Very insightful Delta. There seems to be smoke and mirrors here too. It's a very clever piece of writing. I enjoyed it x

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  5. #5
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    What they said. ^^^

  6. #6
    Registered User DieterM's Avatar
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    Can only agree with all the praise above, dear D. :-) ^^^
    "Im Arm der Liebe schliefen wir selig ein…" ("Liebesode" - Otto Erich Hartleben)
    New poetry collection available (Kindle and paperback)

  7. #7
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Thanks for the reviews everyone. Apologies for not responding. I think you're right Hawk about the phantom aspect and the poem does have a smoke and mirror effect. I especially like the grave image which fits quite well. One of the enjoyments I get from writing is producing work which is flexible enough in its interpretation without losing meaning if that makes sense.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  8. #8
    Employee of the Month blank|verse's Avatar
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    Am I the only one to read this poem as being about sex - first with her partner, then with herself - or does that just say more about me as a reader?

  9. #9
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    I’m with you friend, why use a metaphor that relates to shall we say size if you don’t give it any credence.
    But nevertheless a highly enjoyable piece to read and enjoy.

  10. #10
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Welcome back blank|verse. I have very much missed your intuitive eye.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  11. #11
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post

    Back here in the yard
    I kneel as
    I delve
    Into the thick overgrowth
    And hit the spot
    So I truly appreciate
    The great distance
    Between us
    I especially like the meanings (and interpretations) ripe within this final part... Regardless of age, one can -and does- enjoy the whatever left of the physical body.

    Since you do not use punctuation, Delta, I wonder why you capitalise each line... This is not a criticism or even a suggestion but a mere question out of curiosity to hear your thoughts.
    ~
    "It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
    ~


  12. #12
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    More interesting interpretations. They all read marvelously well and give me great satisfaction. Scher my word program does it automatically and I rather like the format. Thanks for the reviews everyone.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  13. #13
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    It seems like a comparison between what we think and what we see. Like when you imagine yourself and see yourself in a mirror. That is why, I suppose, 'the appreciation' of 'the distance' between them at the poem's end.

    Nice poem, Delta.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scheherazade View Post
    Since you do not use punctuation, Delta, I wonder why you capitalise each line... This is not a criticism or even a suggestion but a mere question out of curiosity to hear your thoughts.
    I do the same in my poems. I don't really know why. Maybe to give to the poetry something more to differentiate it from prose, after it (the poetry) has lost some of its earlier specificities (like rhyme, for instance).
    ...........
    “All" human beings "by nature desire to know.” ― Aristotle
    “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ― Robert A. Heinlein

  14. #14
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I'm terrible at rhyme. For the most part I find them boring to read unless they're quirky. I do however appreciate the great skill required to write a good one. Probably not enough or I wouldn't say they are boring! I got into Shakespeare and Canterbury Tales for a while and read McGonagall for a laugh but it's simply not my style.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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