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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 107

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 107

    I KNOW THAT YOU’RE REALLY OLD

    I know that you’re really old
    But your aging appears static
    Which means you must have
    A portrait hanging in the attic

    THE POETIC PAM AYRES

    The poetic Pam Ayres
    Wrote verse with a gag
    And I think she looks
    Like Benny Hill in drag

    THE WATER FEATURE

    Running Water is so therapeutic
    It seems to Wash away your cares
    However the exception to the rule
    Is when it’s running down the stairs

    LIDL

    Lidl in Stevenage has closed its doors
    And has been raised to the floor
    To build a new Lidl superstore
    Which won’t be so Lidl anymore

    CHINESE FAST FOOD

    We went out to pick up
    A Chinese takeaway
    But we were skint so we did
    A Chinese Runaway

    I SOLD THE VACUUM CLEANER

    I sold the vacuum cleaner
    I wasn’t really fussed
    After all at the end of the day
    It was just collecting dust

    MY UNCLE COLLECTS WILD ANIMALS

    My uncle collects wild animals
    He’s the strangest bloke I’ve met
    I offered him a really fat badger
    He said no “as it didn’t fit in his set”

    I SCOURED THE LATEST GLOSSY MAGS

    I scoured the latest glossy mags
    In search of some fashion-ism
    To give some indication as to what
    One wears for casual racism

    I MET AN INTERESTING GIRL AT A PARTY

    I met an interesting girl at a party
    At first I admired her from afar
    She claimed that just by knowing
    The make of an individual’s car
    She could discern their personality
    Apparently I shouldn’t own a car

    LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 4

    You've reached a milestone
    A really significant age
    You've joined the over 40's
    You have turned a new page
    So happy birthday darling
    I hope you enjoy your surprise
    Because now you’re forty
    Your age matches your bust size

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    "skint" - lol

    Another collection to cherish.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  3. #3
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the one about the vacuum cleaner collecting dust the best.

  4. #4
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    Funny batch!
    My vacuum cleaner really sucks (because it doesn't.)
    The last one "Life begins at 40" might be true for some gals, but in yours fooly's case I haven't matched my size since I was a pre-teen.

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