Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 96

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,204
    Blog Entries
    109

    A Little Bit Of Humour # 96

    ARE YOU WEARING A STRAIGHTJACKET?

    Are you wearing a straightjacket?
    With wrap around sleeves and metal bands
    Are you some kind of homicidal maniac?
    Or do you suffer from wondering hands

    ROSES ARE VIOLET

    Roses are Violet
    Violets are Lilac
    Lilacs are Roses
    And she wants then back

    PICKUP # 11

    When you’re on the pull
    If you want to break the ice
    Say something funny
    Or say something nice
    Be complimentary
    Or just lie in your endeavour
    Be devastatingly witty
    Or say something clever
    “I’m a Doctor, Dr Love
    And you know how they say
    The skin is the largest organ?
    Not in my case, by a long way”

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 1

    Happy Birthday, mother dear
    May all your wishes come true this year
    Apart from the one I will not grant
    That one that involves me being pregnant

    I GOT A DUAL PURPOSE BIRTHDAY CARD

    I got a dual purpose birthday card
    The intention was well meant
    For a person of your advancing years
    With its very high fibre content

    THE MARRIAGE IS OVER BETWEEN KEN AND DINAH

    The marriage is over between Ken and Dinah
    She divorced him for having sex with a minor
    But it was not that he practised paedophilia
    His lover was a tin miner from St Minver

    POSH AND BECKS LOOKALIKES

    Posh and Becks lookalikes
    Could be their twin
    But they go by the name
    Of Thick and Thin

    MY DECISION TO BECOME A DOCTOR

    My decision to become a doctor
    Even though it helped me burgeon
    Raised more than a few eyebrows
    But then I am a plastic surgeon

    I MAY HAVE GOLD TEETH

    I may have gold teeth
    Showing when I grin
    I may have silver hair
    Which is going thin
    I will even confess
    That I have bronze skin
    But I can say that my pencil
    Still has plenty of lead in

    ARE YOU WEARING A BOOB TUBE?

    Are you wearing a boob tube?
    It’s not to my own personal taste
    Mainly because I suppose
    You’re wearing it around your waist

    YOU HAVE MADE IT TO THIRTY

    You have made it to thirty
    And I would just like to say
    I have no words of comfort
    It IS downhill all the way

    CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS

    Chocolate coated raisins
    I found out today
    Can easily be included
    As one of your five a day

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2
    I liked the one about reaching thirty. One consolation is that it sometimes takes longer to go downhill than up.

  3. #3
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Woking, United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,204
    Blog Entries
    109
    I know what you mean about going downhill, I remember when I used to do a lot of hill walking it used to kill my knees on the way down.

Similar Threads

  1. A Little Bit Of Humour # 49
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-22-2013, 04:43 AM
  2. A Little Bit Of Humour # 47
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-12-2013, 10:12 AM
  3. A Little Bit Of Humour # 45
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-12-2013, 10:06 AM
  4. A Little Bit Of Humour # 46
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-09-2013, 08:06 AM
  5. A Little Bit Of Humour # 28
    By Biggus in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-03-2013, 08:38 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •