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Thread: Monica Lewinsky Used to Be Wolf Larsen, And Other Scandals of the Apollo Moon Program

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    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Smile Monica Lewinsky Used to Be Wolf Larsen, And Other Scandals of the Apollo Moon Program

    WARNING: SOME SEXUAL IMAGERY, INCLUDING SOME SEXUAL IMAGERY THAT INCLUDES 80-YEAR-OLD ROYALTY. IF THIS SOUNDS DISTURBING TO YOU PLEASE READ NO FURTHER AND CLICK OFF OF THIS THREAD. Thank you for your understanding.

    Monica Lewinsky Used to Be Wolf Larsen, And Other Scandals of the Apollo Moon Program
    a short story by Wolf Larsen

    Everyone knows that Monica Lewinsky used to be Wolf Larsen. But then, Monica Lewinsky was kidnapped by the Mafia and turned into a bus. The bus roared through an imaginary world dreamed up by an unfamous sculptor who was born from a can of soup.

    Once, when Monica Lewinsky was in the Apollo program, somebody kidnapped Monica Lewinsky's face. That was how Bill Clinton met her, because Bill Clinton worked as a hamburger flipper aboard the McDonald's on the Moon.

    The moon itself was of course created in one of Wolf Larsen's poems, back when he was no longer Monica Lewinsky. At that time, Monica Lewinsky was hiding inside the testicles of an African dictator. That particular African dictator no longer lives, because he was swallowed by a very hungry goldfish.

    The very hungry goldfish, Monica Lewinsky, and Wolf Larsen all share a common ancestor together. That common ancestor is the bottle of beer in your refrigerator. Once you drink that beer some of the H2O molecules will go to your testicles, which will store the sperm which you will then shoot into the 80-year-old Queen of England who in turn will give birth to a machine that in turn will give birth to a very hungry goldfish, Monica Lewinsky, and Wolf Larsen.

    This of course was proven by the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The excellent oral skills of the presidential aide Monica Lewinsky created a scandal which caused the economic crisis of 2008. The result was the election of America's first black president, and now we all have plenty of Coca-Cola and Pepsi on the supermarket shelves to choose from.

    Once the Apollo program, which was begun by Barack Obama before he was born, but we are getting out of turn. It is now my turn in line. Meaning it is now my turn with Monica Lewinsky after Barack Obama. Happy seconds for me! (The reader's turn is after my turn.) Happy thirds for you!

    Copyright 2014 by Wolf Larsen

    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen

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    Registered User Melanie's Avatar
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    This is one zany piece…i mean that in the best way. Thumbs-up! Thanks for the entertainment. This was hilarious and left me scratching my head as to where you come up with this eccentric stuff. Every turn was unexpected. Brilliantly penned! I would leave off the last paragraph though…doesn't seem to fit your clever unexpected style as much.
    Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink the wild air ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Smile Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by Melanie View Post
    This is one zany piece…i mean that in the best way. Thumbs-up! Thanks for the entertainment. This was hilarious and left me scratching my head as to where you come up with this eccentric stuff. Every turn was unexpected. Brilliantly penned! I would leave off the last paragraph though…doesn't seem to fit your clever unexpected style as much.
    Thank you Melanie.

    It seems like most people hate my creative stuff, and prefer the conventional stuff I used to write. But others seem to love the creative stuff! For every person that loves the creative stuff it seems like there are at least five others that hate it. There is almost never a neutral reaction to my creative stuff – people either love it or they hate it.

    I just couldn't keep writing the conventional stuff. It bored me.

    I have the first draft of a conventionally-written autobiographical novel about a white boy with blond hair and blue eyes who grows up in a predominantly black environment on the South Side of Chicago. While it's an interesting subject, I was so bored writing it I had to stop. Conventional writing now puts me to sleep.

    Once again thank you.
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen

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    Registered User Melanie's Avatar
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    For those who don't like your creative style they can walk on by and not read it. You're an artist of words...express yourself however you want. Artists always face critics. Hang in there, don't let the haters quench your creative spirit, and rest in the positive feedback you get.
    Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink the wild air ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    Quote Originally Posted by Melanie View Post
    For those who don't like your creative style they can walk on by and not read it. You're an artist of words...express yourself however you want. Artists always face critics. Hang in there, don't let the haters quench your creative spirit, and rest in the positive feedback you get.
    I second this! People should do whatever they want and ignore those who seek to bring you down by threatening to cut off your penis for expressing yourself through rhyme. I will rhyme and I will continue to keep my penis attached to my body.

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    Registered User Melanie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HCabret View Post
    I second this! People should do whatever they want and ignore those who seek to bring you down by threatening to cut off your penis for expressing yourself through rhyme. I will rhyme and I will continue to keep my penis attached to my body.
    That's all fine and well. The only problem is that you keep sticking your "penis", as you say, in places it doesn't belong. Stalking is frowned upon here. You're free to rhyme, if that is your choice of poetic form, and others are free to dislike rhyme in favor of free verse if they choose. Just as you want your freedom of opinion, let others have theirs. I like both rhyme and free verse but both come with a warning. Free verse poems should have artistic expression in each line and not just a rambling story with line breaks here and there. Rhyming poems should avoid ho-hum, forced rhyming and over-saturation of rhyme. It's an art to use intelligent rhyme and it's an art to make free verse sound poetic.
    Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink the wild air ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    Quote Originally Posted by Melanie View Post
    That's all fine and well. The only problem is that you keep sticking your "penis", as you say, in places it doesn't belong. Stalking is frowned upon here. You're free to rhyme, if that is your choice of poetic form, and others are free to dislike rhyme in favor of free verse if they choose. Just as you want your freedom of opinion, let others have theirs. I like both rhyme and free verse but both come with a warning. Free verse poems should have artistic expression in each line and not just a rambling story with line breaks here and there. Rhyming poems should avoid ho-hum, forced rhyming and over-saturation of rhyme. It's an art to use intelligent rhyme and it's an art to make free verse sound poetic.
    I'm not "stalking". I am simply stating my opinion. This an open Internet forum. I am allowed to post on here just as you are. If Wolf does not want feedback, then he shouldn't post his work here.
    I am fine with Wolf having an opinion on rhyming in poetry, but if you read my criticisms, that is not my point. He has threatened violence upon others, in clear violation of the rules of this site. He had threatened castration if people don't follow his way. He has threatened to eat people who rhyme in their poetry. I like some his poetry, it's creative and very different. His last entry into the avant grade contest was brilliant. But violence and/or threatening violence is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.
    All this bring said, Wolf Larsen should NOT be banned from this website or any other. He is free to write whatever he wants, but that does not mean that I or anyone else is required to give any sort of positive feedback if it is not deemed fit.

    I have reported the said "threats of violence" and hope they are dealt with in a proper manner.

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    Registered User Melanie's Avatar
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    I'm not familiar with your conflict…nor do I want to be. I've only noticed that you have posted in many of his threads and I read in a poetry contest thread that he feels stalked. I know that feeling too (not here in litnet) and it's uncomfortable at best. Please realize that you have made your point everywhere on lit-net now and so it's time to back off. It only hurts the site to dwell on it.
    Last edited by Melanie; 08-08-2014 at 04:29 PM.
    Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink the wild air ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    Quote Originally Posted by Melanie View Post
    I'm not familiar with your conflict…nor do I want to be. I've only noticed that you have posted in many of his threads and I read in a poetry contest thread that he feels stalked. I know that feeling too (not here in litnet) and it's uncomfortable at best. Please realize that you have made your point everywhere on lit-net now and so it's time to back off. It only hurts the site to dwell on it.
    I find it hard to let any threat of violence go easy into the night. The continued existence of the posts in question are hurting this site. I did not become aware of them until I decided to enter a new poem into the avant garde contest which I had previously participated in and decided to do my homework on the newest judge. I discovered him first post ever on this site, which included threats of castration upon other members of this site. I further found a YouTube channel with espousing similar positions concerning the promotion of violence. I have decided to use this as a form of avant garde performance art, in which I will promote my entry in to the contest by "doing whatever you want", as was advised of the entrants of the avant garde contest. I do not really care for Wolf Larsen or his positions personally in any way and will go on ignoring his existence upon the completion of the contest on Aug 15. I hope my "do whatever you want" performance will be appreciated by other lovers of the avant garde, but I promise to be gracious in defeat if such an outcome occurs. I have broken no rules of this site or the contest and expect that mine, as well as the other entrant's avant garde poetry examples will be judged fairly based on the rules set before the contest.

    Please understand that my performance is not intended to be personal, only most offensive in the ways espoused by Wolf Larsen in his manifesto.

    By the way, I love the quote in you signature Melanie and you are a brave soul!

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    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melanie View Post
    For those who don't like your creative style they can walk on by and not read it. You're an artist of words...express yourself however you want. Artists always face critics. Hang in there, don't let the haters quench your creative spirit, and rest in the positive feedback you get.
    Word.
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

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