WARNING: SOME SEXUAL IMAGERY, INCLUDING SOME SEXUAL IMAGERY THAT INCLUDES 80-YEAR-OLD ROYALTY. IF THIS SOUNDS DISTURBING TO YOU PLEASE READ NO FURTHER AND CLICK OFF OF THIS THREAD. Thank you for your understanding.
Monica Lewinsky Used to Be Wolf Larsen, And Other Scandals of the Apollo Moon Program
a short story by Wolf Larsen
Everyone knows that Monica Lewinsky used to be Wolf Larsen. But then, Monica Lewinsky was kidnapped by the Mafia and turned into a bus. The bus roared through an imaginary world dreamed up by an unfamous sculptor who was born from a can of soup.
Once, when Monica Lewinsky was in the Apollo program, somebody kidnapped Monica Lewinsky's face. That was how Bill Clinton met her, because Bill Clinton worked as a hamburger flipper aboard the McDonald's on the Moon.
The moon itself was of course created in one of Wolf Larsen's poems, back when he was no longer Monica Lewinsky. At that time, Monica Lewinsky was hiding inside the testicles of an African dictator. That particular African dictator no longer lives, because he was swallowed by a very hungry goldfish.
The very hungry goldfish, Monica Lewinsky, and Wolf Larsen all share a common ancestor together. That common ancestor is the bottle of beer in your refrigerator. Once you drink that beer some of the H2O molecules will go to your testicles, which will store the sperm which you will then shoot into the 80-year-old Queen of England who in turn will give birth to a machine that in turn will give birth to a very hungry goldfish, Monica Lewinsky, and Wolf Larsen.
This of course was proven by the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The excellent oral skills of the presidential aide Monica Lewinsky created a scandal which caused the economic crisis of 2008. The result was the election of America's first black president, and now we all have plenty of Coca-Cola and Pepsi on the supermarket shelves to choose from.
Once the Apollo program, which was begun by Barack Obama before he was born, but we are getting out of turn. It is now my turn in line. Meaning it is now my turn with Monica Lewinsky after Barack Obama. Happy seconds for me! (The reader's turn is after my turn.) Happy thirds for you!
Copyright 2014 by Wolf Larsen