ARE YOU WEARING FOOTMALL SOCKS?
Are you wearing football socks?
Well yes you’ve got the right team
But you have forgotten to wear
The rest of the kit it would seem
CHERYL COLE LIKE OTHER CELEBS
Cheryl Cole like other celebs
Feels she’d like to do her bit
And she wants to fight Malaria
Because you’re worth it
MY SON CAME RUSHING HOME FROM SCHOOL
My son came rushing home from school
With great excitement from the start
“I’m in the play and I play a married man
I said "So you didn’t get a speaking part?”
MY KIDS ARE MAD AT ME
I put Ginger in the Curry
And my kids are angry at that
I thought it was very tasty
But they really loved that cat
NOT MY BETTER HALF
I went out with him
Because he was laugh
But now he’s just become
My bitter half
SHE WAS A REAL GOLD DIGGER
She was a real gold digger
And one of life’s man eaters
Who went about her task
With a net and a team of beaters
HE WAS A ROGUE WHEN HE LIVED
He was a rogue when he lived
And won’t be missed a bit
When you lay him in a box
Don’t buy the expensive kit
Or he’ll return from beyond
And then he’ll try to sell it
TWO OVERWEIGHT LADS
Two overweight lads were in the pub
“Your round” one of them suddenly said
The other one took instant offence and
Replied “So are you, you great fat head”
WE WERE KIDS IN WORN OUT SHOES
We were kids in worn out shoes
And we’d gamble in one or twos
With liquorice and penny chews
On any contest we’d choose
But if we were then to lose
We’d sing the sweetie bar blues
WHEN MY WIFE REACHED FORTY
When my wife reached forty
Despite all the happy memories
I was left with no alternative
But to change her for two twenties
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