A Little Bit Of Humour # 88

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING FOOTBALL BOOTS?

Are you wearing football boots?
Well I can see you’re ready to play
I have just one small criticism
Namely we’re playing golf today

SHE LOOKED TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

She looked gorgeous in
Black stockings and stiletto shoes
But after we got naked
I was singing the lady boy blues

I HAD TO DUMP MY GIRLFRIEND

I had to dump my girlfriend
I met her thru a dating agency
Because she thought that scruples
Was the Russian currency

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING

I am not opposed to the clocks
Going forward in the spring
But it could be handled better
To make it less exhausting
Take the hour from Friday afternoon
Instead of Sunday morning

PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN

When the tragic death
Was announced on the news
Of the Oscar winning actor
My wife didn’t have a clue
Which prompted her to say
Philip Seymour who?

THE CHAUVINISTS ARE COMING

As economic migrants, blown
On the easterly breeze
Arrive on our welcoming shores
I am left in a state of unease
Not because they’re foreign
But because they’re from the seventies

SHE CHOSE TO WEAR BEIGE # 2

She chose to wear Beige
For an event of some Grandeur
Amidst the glitz and the glamour
She was in a state of blandeur

IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY

If you can afford to buy
Yourself a 3d printer
The first thing to do
Is print another printer

MURRAYFIELD RENAMED MUDDYFIELD

It had rained for days on end
The pitch had had its fill
So much so that the turf moved
But the scrum stayed still

ARE YOU WEARING A FOOTBALL SHIRT?

Are you wearing a football shirt?
I like lady footballers for my sins
My only regret in your regard
Is you choose shirts instead of skins

[YesNo]

I liked the one about the 3D printer the best. It occurred to me that should they ever get AI to the point where the robot will be able to recreate itself, at least there will be no need to buy another one.

[AuntShecky]

If you can afford to buy
Yourself a 3d printer
The first thing to do
Is print another printer

Back in the late eighties we got our very first microwave oven. It was a massive metal box that made a helluva racket when the food was done. My bitter half suggested that we hook it up to a copy machine -- to make an endless supply of microwave pizzas!