Let's Write a Story Together

[Emil Miller]

OK here's the deal. I'll order a drone hit on DreamWorks studio complex and blame some arabs for an attack on America's highest cultural achievement, before launching a massive retaliation. I'll give you the nod before the drone attack and you can buy into DreamWorks before pulling out on receipt of my warning pending its destruction. It'll mean really big bucks.

[Sancho]

"Great sufferin' hornytoads, man! What is ya, some kinda embezzle? some kinda ultramaroon? Ya can't bomb DreamWorks, they came up with the roughest, toughest, rootinest, tootinest, shootinest, hombre to ever cross the Rio Grand - name of Yosemite Sam. The rabbit's pretty good too. That was DreamWorks wasn't it? Anyway what sorta lily-livered, low-down varmint uses a drone when he kin just bust in six-shooters a-blazin'? Alright, alright, I'll think of somthin'...don't rush me...I'm a-thinkin'...and it's makin' my head hurt."

[Emil Miller]

Yeah well it wasn't my idea. I got it from a former Vice Presidential book on foreign policy initiatives by Chick Deney, but if you could think up something better I'll even put a 'Vote Perryballs' sticker on my car if you decide to run for the Presidency when I retire.

[Sancho]

"Okay here's the dealeo, Delores, you gotta problem - I gotta problem. You fix mine and I'll fix yours - crisscross. You take a couple of hundred thousand miniature wetbacks offa my hands, and I'll have the TEXAS Rangers take care of your Cosa Nostra problem - they like greasin' greasers. Then I'll personally shoot Wayne McSwain, right in the nuts, or my name ain't Dick Perryballs."

"Heh-heh...'Dick Perryballs for President'...on a Backup bumper sticker...I can't lose!"

[Sancho]

And thus the American political system entered a golden age of mutual respect and cooperation between the political parties as well as between the three branches of government at the Federal, State, and Local levels. Former President G. Dubya Bush described it best when he summoned the highest order of his unique linguistic powers and commented:

"Well, I reckon we're all sh*ttin' in tall cotton now."

[Sancho]

Last week, in a bizarre turn of events, Texas Governor Dick Perryballs was indicted by a Federal Grand Jury for the crime of Indecent Exposure. The indictment was the result of a lawsuit filed on behalf of Texas Attorney General, Rosemarie Mascervezasporfavor, who accused the governor of exposing himself to her and members of her staff during a late-night Justice Department meeting at the Texas State Supreme Court Building in Austin.

In an exclusive interview with this reporter, the Attorney General said, "I was embarrassed for him. He just burst in, dropped trou', and said, 'Hey, Rose, check out Big Ed and the Twins!'." She added, "It was pathetic, in more ways than one, if you know what I mean." Then she gave me creepy, solicitous wink.

In a statement after his arraignment at the Federal Courthouse, the Governor said of Attorney General, "She digs me..." He then seemed to be fishing around for something in his pants pockets when he added, "...and my pair of hairy and stately balls."

Most watchers of Texas politics consider the lawsuit to be without merit and simply a political maneuver designed to complicate Mr Perryballs' intention to run for President of the United States in the next election cycle. Karl Rove, Deputy White House Chief of Staff under President George W. Bush, yawned conspicuously said, "That's just how we roll down here in TEXAS, yup-yup-yup-howdy-howdy, business as usual." While David Axelrod, campaign advisor for President Barrack Obama, commented, "Mmm-hmm, they play hard-ball politics down there in Texas."