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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 75

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 75

    ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER?

    Are you wearing patent leather?
    Well at least it will never weather
    But I would have to say honesty
    On you it looks like PVC

    PUT DOWN # 55

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    If he starts spinning you a line
    And he starts annoying you
    Just say "Don't you have
    A bowling game to get to?"

    THE COMMON TERM FOR SOMEONE

    The common term for someone
    Who retires but goes to work again
    Because they enjoy it too much
    To give it up, is criminally insane

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 319

    Mary had a little bra
    Which wasnít really fair
    Because like her mother
    She had a massive pair

    OILY FOOD

    When my Dad was a boy, there was
    No cooking oil or anything like that
    Oil was for lubricating the garden gate
    And you cooked everything in fat

    MY SATNAV HAS AUDIBLE ALARMS

    My Satnav has audible alarms
    They make each journey fraught
    So I think Iíll trade it in
    And buy the silent sort

    YOU ARE WELL ENDOWED

    You are well endowed
    Is it all you?
    Or is it padded up there
    I wonít care
    If you let me in up there
    And what about below stairs
    Just let me get in under there
    Into your under wear
    And I will find your derriere
    Among your treasures
    And some mutual pleasures

    THE SIMPLE TRUTH OF AVIATION

    The simple truth
    Up in the skies
    If a pilot messes up,
    Then the pilot dies
    If a controller messes up
    Then the pilot dies

    AT THE OLYMPICS THE ROMANIANS

    At the Olympics the Romanians
    Made a clean sweep good and proper
    Taking the Gold, Silver and bronze
    As well as all the lead and copper

    ARE YOU WEARING FALSE PAINTED TOE NAILS?

    Are you wearing false painted toe nails?
    No I donít think that they look sweet
    And I think itís a waste of money
    Simple because you have Shrek feet

  2. #2
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The simple truth of aviation was my favorite.

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