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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 74

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 74

    ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER BOOTS?

    Are you wearing patent leather boots?
    Well Iím as open minded as any other
    But really? Thigh length leather boots
    When weíre burying your mother

    PUT DOWN # 54

    Put downs work the best
    For deflecting unwanted attention
    But try to be amusing
    As this relieves the tension
    If he starts spinning you a line
    Just say when your patience is done
    ďI'm no proctologist, but
    I know an ******* when I see oneĒ

    21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 318

    Three each day
    Seven days a week
    Ruddy Apple
    Ruddy Cheek
    Hardly a varied diet
    Is it?

    TAKEAWAYS

    When my Dad was just a boy
    They didnít have takeaways
    Except in maths which were
    Called subtraction in olden days

    PENSIONERS DONíT COUNT PENNIES

    Pensioners donít count pennies
    Out of necessity
    Itís just that only they
    Have the time you see

    ARE YOU WEARING A BABY DOLL DRESS?

    Are you wearing a baby doll dress?
    Well I donít want to cause any distress
    But are you sure that look is alright
    When youíve got that much cellulite

    IN ONE RESPECT WE HAVE

    In one respect we have
    I can proudly declare
    A perfect aviation record
    We never left one up there

    APPARENTLY PEOPLE IN DUBAI

    Apparently people in Dubai
    Donít understand the Flintstones
    And that is the popular view
    But itís not a cultural thing
    Nor is it East versus West
    As people in Abu Dhabi Do

    EVERY TOM

    When you hear
    The chorus, from where
    The alley cats tarry
    Just remember
    That every tom
    Has a dick, Harry

    I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WITH GRANDDAD

    I went to the cemetery with Granddad
    To visit the grave of Grandma Dot
    But after an hour of wandering around
    I thought Granddad had lost the plot

  2. #2
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    Another bunch of welcomed "yucks."
    Like all of them, but the top three are "Put Down #54," "Every Tom" (you devil, you), and the best --"Dubai."

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