Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Rikki

  1. #1
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    San Diego Calif.
    Posts
    1,608
    Blog Entries
    15

    Rikki

    Rikki

    by


    Steven Hunley



    When Rikki let me unbutton her top button I was certain she was going to give it up. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it, but I was convinced it was coming. All the elements were there. We were alone. It was warm, dark, and comfortable. Music was on low slow and romantic. Parking brake was set. We just come from downtown on the ferry and were sitting in front of her mother's house in Coronado.

    We’d been flirting for weeks in class. I’d finally asked her out. Two weeks later and we saw Lawrence of Arabia for the second time and been to dinner. Now, parked in the concealing darkness her face had been seeking since puberty, it was time for dessert.

    I’d been taking my time, maybe because I was an old hand with women, or maybe because I had no idea what would come next.

    I’d been working my way down from behind her ear with a trail of kisses, and now nearing her neck where it met her shoulder. I paused, inhaling her scent, a mix of a particular woman and perfume, an exotic proprietary fragrance worn by no other woman.

    “It’s a wonder how women are,” I thought.

    This hesitation made her inhale, swelling her breasts, urging them to tug against the constraint of buttons and blouse.

    I moved down to the second button. But then she grasped my fingers and pressed them to her lips.

    “I just can’t do this, Steevie-weevie,” she said softly, “Not now.”

    “Why not?”

    “‘Cause tomorrow I’m going with Tony to Mexico.”

    “Tony, that idiot with the motor bike?”

    She nodded.

    “But why him? Why not me?”

    She dropped my hand, placed two fingers against my mouth to silence me, and looked directly in my eyes.

    “Because,” she said, looking down as if she were in pain, “Tomorrow he’ll still be here. You won’t.”

    I was speechless. Not because I was dumfounded you understand, but because I had nothing to say. I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, it was so perfectly true.

    On Monday when I walked into Color and Design 101 she wasn’t there.

    “Where’s Rikki?” I said to a girl who sat in front and was staring at the empty desk.

    “Oh, the pimple-faced girl? Haven’t you heard? She’s dead. A drunk driver hit her in Tijuana. She was on a motorbike, Tony too. It knocked them fifty feet.”

    I knew there was a funeral, never went to the funeral. Don't do funerals. I figured I’d paid my last respects on that night in my Chevy when I’d stopped at the second button.

    And though it seemed the whole school appeared shook up by her death, they were shamming.

    It was the fall semester at City College. I remember going downtown with Rikki to Woolworths and eating Baklava, doing the old Lawrence of Arabia thing. She was the one turned me on to exotic sweets, never considering she was one of them, so exotic you couldn't place her. There aren’t many maple trees left downtown but there are a few.

    I went down today and the old Woolworth’s is abandoned. A cold wind blew a few twisted maple leaves past my feet and into the gutter.

    The others, those kids, those various student bodies, shed nothing but crocodile tears. She meant no more to them than a dead leaf.

    Only I looked into her eyes and listened to her whisper, my ears heard her profound truth, and understood its logic and implications.

    Only I would live to regret it, regret myself... and the way I acted.

    ©Steven Hunley

    http://youtu.be/vfBkd1s5Mq8 Steely Dan--Rikki Don't Lose that Number
    Last edited by Steven Hunley; 01-02-2014 at 03:06 AM.

  2. #2
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    next door to the lady in the vinegar bottle
    Posts
    4,894
    Blog Entries
    72
    I thought it was a reference to the Steely Dan tune! Because that's the only place I'd ever heard the name "Rikki." When I saw the link, I knew I was right.

    This story evokes the same kind of sentiment of some of the maudlin songs of the sixties (the decade before S. Dan.): "Endless Sleep," "Patches," "The Ballad of Bobby Jo," et al. So I'm assuming your stance here is ironic.

    Last line in second paragraph--do you mean "desert" w. the Lawrence of Arabia allusion, or do you mean "dessert." Also there might be a inconsistency in P.O.V. in the line " "Maybe he's shy,' she thought." How would the narrator know what she thought, "Stevie-weevie"?

  3. #3
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    4,962
    Quote Originally Posted by AuntShecky View Post
    I thought it was a reference to the Steely Dan tune! Because that's the only place I'd ever heard the name "Rikki." When I saw the link, I knew I was right.
    I was kinda hoping for Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, but the first line killed that.
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  4. #4
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,873
    Blog Entries
    62
    how did you act?

    between the line 'so perfectly true' and 'On Monday' I wonder if it is worth inserting anything else Steevie Weevie
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  5. #5
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    4,962
    Quote Originally Posted by AuntShecky View Post
    How would the narrator know what she thought, "Stevie-weevie"?
    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    I wonder if it is worth inserting anything else Steevie Weevie
    Something tells me he's going to be regretting this for quite a while.

    I certainly hope Scheherazade doesn't see fit to change his username to Steevie-Weevie, because that would be awful.
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  6. #6
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,873
    Blog Entries
    62
    Hey at least I capitalised his surname!
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  7. #7
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    San Diego Calif.
    Posts
    1,608
    Blog Entries
    15
    Hey, that's the story of my life. A girl back in the mid 60's calls me a dopey name and now I have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes. This makes me soooo upset. STEEVIE-WEEVIE is getting upset! I believe he's going to throw some kind of outrageous tantrum! He is!!!

    Or maybe he isn't. "Gosh!" as Napoleon Dynamite once said. "That was fun."


    You guys make me sick. That's why you're my buddies. Thanks, Lit netters, I needed that. Mispells and brain-snooping omniscient narrator lines are corrected.

  8. #8
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,873
    Blog Entries
    62
    Shall we call you Hunwee Bunwee instead? (moving out of the way as you start to spin...)
    Last edited by Delta40; 01-02-2014 at 03:16 AM.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  9. #9
    Registered User Steven Hunley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    San Diego Calif.
    Posts
    1,608
    Blog Entries
    15
    Oh Jeez, here we go again.

  10. #10
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Prairies, Canada
    Posts
    7,850
    Blog Entries
    181
    Great story.
    One RIKKI that stands out in my mind is a fave, Rickie Lee Jones. Man she can sing.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •