Slutty Nurse
by
Steven Hunley
Halloween is coming up and I notice a trend going on here. The costume catalogues are hitting my mailbox by the dozens. Men, I have already figured out since I’m a man don’t bother me at all, it’s the women’s costumes that concern me. A woman can be a nurse, or a teacher, or a cop or a figure from history. But she has to be a slutty nurse, a slutty teacher, or a slutty copper. She can be Martha Washington but it has to be Slutty Martha. She can be Marie Antoinette but a slutty Marie Antoinette. She can be Cinderella but only if it’s Slutty Cinderella. What’s to be made of all this?
Seems, statistically anyway that Halloween is the biggest holiday next to Christmas. Sorry Lord, but after all, it’s your birthday, not theirs, and this is one of those chances for people to really be themselves. So the women can be whatever they like, for one evening of debauchery. After all, it’s not them, it’s the character. It’s a chance for self-expression, expression of the darker side of their personalities. It’s their heart of darkness, their Conrad side that wants out, not their Sunday reverent side. The reverent side gets shown once a week on Sundays, while the Conrad side only shown once a year, so you can’t blame them.
A man can be a vampire, but he’s not required to be a slutty one. He can be continental, well-dressed, have an accent, fake blood on his lips, but never slutty. Bella Lugosi was a snappy dresser, never slutty. A man can be Wolfman-hairy, but not slutty, as ungroomed as he likes, but never slutty. Are the costumers saying that men just can’t be slutty?
I believe they are. After all, men and dictionary publishers just don’t apply the word to men. If there’s a word for a man-slut they have no idea what it is.
So we have this super holiday where children can be anything they like for a night and receive candy from the neighbors who don’t even know them. Who could top that for popularity? Not even a Deity.
The real question is: Why are women allowed this voyage into the world of slutty, and men are not? Who’s idea was this anyway? The costumers, or the women patrons who demanded the costumes take this aspect? And how does it affect the younger women making their selections from the catalogues? And lastly ladies, what do your daughters make of this? Have a woman-to-woman talk and find out.