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Thread: Mr. Packer

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2013

    Mr. Packer

    What a strange coincidence it is that this crow has landed on my hat at this moment for this moment was specially reserved for the doves in the town square. This is meant to be my time with them, not with him. Because of his opportunistic settling on my hat (like a black king to an empty throne) I can’t possibly think of continuing to feed bread to the doves, as it might upset my unwanted guest. Everyone knows how despicably a crow behaves if he becomes even the slightest bit irritated - he goes mad! And not only does he go mad but he gets others of his kind to follow him in his madness till revenge has been exacted for the most trivial intrusion on his privacy. What selfish things they are! They never have the right mind to consider their disturbing of others, it’s always the thought of others disturbing them!

    Nevertheless, there’s no use making complaint now since it is better for me to just wait till he flies away to somewhere else. For the moment then I suppose we must agree to a standstill - though I’m completely aware of him having the better of it. I also may as well make the best use of my own limited time here and continue, at the least, my observance of the beautiful doves.

    Oh how I wish all birds were like them: white like angels, musical in their grace and...considerate in their courtesy! You hear that you wretched thing: considerate in their courtesy! A dove would never **** on my hat like you just did! Wonderful, you’ve left your mark on it (like a dropping of white paint) as a reminder of our encounter, how generous of you. Shoo! Shoo away you wretched thing! Yes, go caw away somewhere else. You are not welcome here.

    What now - the doves are leaving? But wait, there’s still some time. Please don’t leave just yet, do stay a bit longer. I have more bread for you...I promise. Here, here, take some - take some more! Please don’t leave! Goodness me, they must have run off so hurriedly because of my disquieting encounter with the crow. I hope they’ll be so kind as to forgive me for it.

    Well, it is getting rather dark and the doves probably have better reasons for not staying. I suppose I shall see them tomorrow then.

    Ugh! In the mean time, I must deal with this hat properly and throw it away at once. What’s this? Another crow? What does this one want? Come here on instruction from your cousin have you? He’s sent just one then, marvelous. But wait, there’s another one atop of the Church’s steeple. Surely that one has been there a while for I haven’t been able to notice it before it’s cawing. And another one! What is the meaning of this?

    I think it is better that I start heading off home this instant since I do have to get up early for work tomorrow morning...


    I think it’s better that we leave Mr. Packer’s thoughts at this particular juncture, for the situation from here quickly became very ominous for him. As you must be aware, I’m sure, from Mr. Packer’s articulate explanation of what happens when a crow is disturbed (harassed, as they would say), you might be able to guess for yourself what happened next.

    Well, if you can not do so or you need confirmation of your powers of deduction, you need not worry, I’m here precisely to tell you how the story carried out: the crow Mr. Packer had shooed away called in all of his friends to ambush his violent intruder. Yes, Mr. Packer was ambushed by hundreds of crows - who together looked like scraps of black garments swirling around the epicenter that is Mr. Packer - in a very narrow street on his way home. There were no witnesses to this act of vicious punishment and only the most grotesque scene was left after for early morning commuters to discover (some of whom believed it to be the work of intoxicated thugs). There wasn’t much of an aftermath either as there was nothing to note for except that the world, including his beloved doves, went on without him as if he had never existed.

    It was indeed a pitiful end for Mr. Packer. Perhaps we should honor him with a little obituary, for it’s the least we can do for someone who’s death has provided entertainment for us - yes? Excellent.

    Well, what is there to say of Mr. Packer...Ah yes! He was an undistinguishable man who committed to his work diligently. And though he had a few friends (and no family) to speak of, it was well known amongst them that Mr. Packer wasn’t very good company. His constant protests for everything which added color to life made for dull, if not gloomy, atmosphere. As for the doves, who he looked so forward to feeding in the town square every evening after work, he dearly loved them. Yes, one can even say that this daily affair provided him with the most innocent joy in a life devoid of them. It is unfortunate then that he met his fate in such circumstances as he did, for he surely did not deserve such a death. Nevertheless, Mr. Packer was an undistinguishable man who did his work diligently...I think that is all there is to say really.

    I hope you’ve enjoyed this little account of Mr. Packer and his death for it only happened not too long ago. I just have, if you don’t mind, one final remark. As is customary with good stories, for I’m certain that this is a most excellent one, there are tendencies for men of deep thought to, as they commonly say, ‘read too much into it.’ I assure you, there is nothing here to be analyzed beyond what is said. It is simply a story which I’ve wanted to share and nothing I’ve said or exposed in Mr. Packers thoughts is meant to be taken as more than what is stated. With this being known, I want to thank you for being such a fine reader and I hope you have a much more wonderful day than the one Mr. Packer had on his last.

  2. #2
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    next door to the lady in the vinegar bottle
    Blog Entries
    I have to confess that I find that this offering promises more than it delivers. The beginning passage comes off as extremely watered-down Samuel Beckett and the plot (what there is of it) seems borrowed from The Birds (not that it's completely "for the birds," as the saying goes.)

    The narrator imposes himself into the proceedings a bit too much. It is true that post-modern writers often break the fourth wall and incorporate self-deprecating, self-referential humor into the text, but here, the direct comments to the reader seem extremely old-fashioned and quaint.

    City dwellers might beg to differ with your narrator and Mr. Packer over their opinion of doves, aka pigeons. Some people refer to them as "rats of the sky," (or the pavement.) A pigeon (or "dove") would be much more likely to bespoil someone's hat than a crow would. The latter has a tendency to shun signs of civilization, hence the effacacy of scarecrows.

    I'll try to read and comment upon more of your work as you post it. Meanwhile, don't forget what I suggested about reading as much modern and contemporary fiction as you can.

    Oh, and the way to generate comments upon your work is to offer comments on the work of other LitNutters. It's not guaranteed, but increases the odds.
    Last edited by AuntShecky; 10-01-2013 at 05:43 PM.

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