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Thread: church

  1. #1
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    church

    ...........
    Last edited by Jerrybaldy; 08-04-2013 at 01:29 PM.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  2. #2
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    Great ending!

  3. #3
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    JB: You're still alive! Nice idea, good narrative which could be worked-up into a short story. As a poem it's a bit prosaic though.

    Live and be well - H

  4. #4
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    I like it - it's quintesentially JB. Brief but with a deeper cynicism. Excellent!

  5. #5
    Employee of the Month blank|verse's Avatar
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    Yes, it is a very typical JB poem - it reads like a shortened version of Philip Larkin's 'Church Going' rewritten by Frankie Boyle.

    The 'Look at me God. | No hands' ending is great - darkly humorous and saying a great deal in context; the highlight of the poem.

    But personally, I find the stereotyping of the priest fiddling with kids a lazy cliche and a cheap shot at religion. Also, following the turn-taking in the dialogue, it reads like the narrator, not the priest, has his 'hands still wet from the altar boy'.

    Perhaps you should say a few 'HAIL Mary's' for the typo as well... but still, worth reading as always.

    PS. It also puts me in mind of 'Cuba' by Paul Muldoon.
    Last edited by blank|verse; 08-04-2013 at 12:24 PM.

  6. #6
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    Our church is wherever we are at, without affectation. We go to a particular location only to share, sing to The Lord, pray and hope He'll bless us by His Grace. We don't go around saying "I have sinned." We are not Roman Catholics. We are not protestants. How could the victors protest? In God we trust, no in you. May your cons stay away from your fusions.

  7. #7
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Oh dammit Jerry I missed this one and your poems are so few and far between. Can't you at least pm it to me? Rest in Pizza
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  8. #8
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Once again I'm late to the party. Put it back up!!!

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  9. #9
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haunted View Post
    Once again I'm late to the party. Put it back up!!!
    Me, too. Sometimes I feel like an expired coupon.

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