ARE YOU WEARING BAGGY DUNGAREES?

Are you wearing baggy dungarees?
Oh yes they’re the bee’s knees
And I can get inside them with ease
In fact I can have them round your knees
Quicker than you can sneeze
Oh yes I like your baggy dungarees

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 299

Taffy was a Welshman
He came from Porthcawl
I think if he were from Cardiff
He’d hardly be Welsh at all

“Taffy was a Welshman was an actual nursery rhyme
Popularised in the 18th Century, so don’t blame me”

WHAT A DAY

On Monday he was grumpy
He was happy on Tuesday
So God knows what kind
Of a dwarf he’ll be today

SHOP ASSISTANCE

I was shopping
With my wife
And we found ourselves
In the alcohol isle
But couldn’t decide
What we should get
So we asked the man
Filling the shelf
What he would recommend
He gave us both
A cursory glance
Before he responded
“I think Crabbies for Madam
And for sir,
The Old Peculiar”
Cheeky git
We bought a case
Of Wine as well

A SMALL PRANG

I had a crash with another car
It was my fault, Granted
And the “little man” got out
And God how he ranted
“I’m not happy” he shouted
“I’m not happy” he said again
I just and smiled and said
“Which one are you then?”

CHRONIC CONTRADICTION

I am definitely not getting past it
I’m sorry I have to contradict
But my back trouble is a result
Of being Athletic, not arthritic

VINDALOO

He had the Tarka Vindaloo
The rotter
It’s like Chicken Vindaloo
But its otter

I WORK AT THE MET OFFICE

I work at the met office
And my name is Bob
I have to do the pollen count
God it’s a difficult job