I can hear them coming, they are banging on the door, i don't know what to do. No one would listen to me, I told them they were coming, I TOLD THEM. Last week i was mugged on the street coming home from a nightclub, my wallet and money were taken. I told the police but in this city there are so many crimes the police just can't keep up with all of them.

I can hear them pushing down the door, i don't know what to do. The day after I was mugged my house was broken into and the belongings i hold most precious to me were stolen. It was them! they have my I.D they know where i live. I told them they were coming, I TOLD THEM. My friends told me i was paranoid to believe that this was the same people, they know where i live, how do i stop them? My wallet had my address and my other details, they know who i am.

I've lost my job, I didn't show up for work for days, days turned into weeks. Right now i don't know how much time i have missed, i don't go outside, they know who i am. I'm filthy, my hair and beard are long, i look homeless, i have this big new apartment with more space than i could imagine...and i feel smothered. So much room for movement, but no where to run. I can hear them coming.

My life has been ruined, event after event, being victimized by these criminals i have nothing left. Only this house and i can hear them coming. This spacious closet has become my suffocating tomb, i can not run, i can not hide. I'm scared of what will happen if they get into my house, what will i do if.......



Silence......There is a draft, i can hear footsteps, they are inside my home. I have nothing to protect myself with this closet is just an empty corner i have been forced into. I can hear two of them, they are calling out my name, i told them but they wouldn't listen. They have found me.

The door to the balcony has opened, I can make a run to the kitchen, I tip toe out of my room and down the narrow hallway to swing into the kitchen. I am looking at these utensils, I could defend myself. Do i have what it takes, could i do what i need to do in order to protect myself, how much longer can i live like this. In fear, in paranoia no escape from.....

I feel a tight grip on my shoulder, and i hear a whisper of my name, adrenaline fires through the roof, my animalistic senses are attacking. I am in that moment, will i attack or will i cower, i can not live my life like this. I WILL NOT LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THIS!.


Its been 3 years and I can not forget, I will never forgive myself. I...I don't know how this could have happened. I replay that day, all day, every day since. How could i make this mistake? How could i have been so idiotic? Why would i think someone was after me, i was a nobody...i am a nobody.

Some say it was schizophrenia, some say delusions, the doctors say it was severe paranoia. The police found me hiding under the bed covered in blood with a kitchen knife, that was the day i lost it all, the day my world finally stopped turning...that was the day i murdered my parents.

The police said they found my I.D under the kitchen table, all this time, all this time i spent searching, living in fear was for nothing. No one knew where i lived, i was nobody, i am nobody. I used to hear people say "Losing the ones you love hurts most", nothing compares to being the reason you lost your loved ones. So i sit, all day, everyday, re-living that day, my choices affected my parents lives. To them i was everything, but i am nobody, kept in the dark, they didn't know anything... i guess i should have told them. Now I have nothing