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Thread: (By Nacht-Jagen) "Immortal Pains"

  1. #1
    Ich bin die nacht Nacht-Jagen's Avatar
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    (By Nacht-Jagen) "Immortal Pains"

    Aleksander sat at the foot of his bed, phone in hand. His room was decorated with gothic art of all nature. Posters, drawings, even poems were hung on his black walls. He moved his emerald green gaze over to his clock. The clock was a Grim Reaper statuette. It held an hourglass that boasted a miniature clock on the top of it. The moon pierced his window, illuminating his room.
    "Allie, I don't know if I can go." he whispered into his phone. With his parents asleep, Aleksander had to make sure he was quiet.
    "Come on, it'll be fun. Even if you get caught, this place is worth a month's grounding." Allie replied. Aleksander sighed. He knew he would get in trouble if he went. But, who wants to stay in their room all day anyhow? Aleksander stood slowly. His black hair fell into his eyes as he smiled.
    "Alright fine. But this better be good!" He hung up the phone and tiptoed over to his window. He smiled up at the moon and suddenly got filled with excitement. A night club! This was going to be fun. He slipped on his boots and gloves. His outfit was black everywhere. His shirt showed the logo of his favorite band, his leather jacket had sharp spikes at the shoulders, his jeans were wrapped in chains, his boots were fastened with belts, his gloves were fingerless and leather. Aleksander silently opened his door and inched his way into the hall. The air was crisp and cool. His eyes were already adjusted to the dark, allowing him to maneuver his way through the house easily. Once at the front door, he took a deep breath and opened it very slowly. The sound of the door awoke his cat, who was sleeping on the couch. It meowed an alert of intruders, hissing afterwards.
    "Shut up Henry!" Aleksander whispered violently. He zipped out the door in a hurry, accidentally closing it rougher than he had wanted to. He ran full speed for Allie's house, eager to get away from his house. Away from his parents. Away from his pain. He cut through several yards of neighbor's houses and after a good ten minute sprint, finally reached Allie's house. He walked up to her front door and knocked seven times. ABABAAB. That was their secret knock. Allie immediately answered the door. She was dressed in all black as well, wearing a decorative corset and black leather pants. Her hair was draped over her shoulders and her ice blue gaze was locked on Aleksander's own eyes. Aleksander smiled at her and put his hands in his pockets.
    "Sexy." he commented. Allie laughed in response and walked past him.
    "Let's go." she said. The two friends walked down the street. The clouds wrapped around the moon, creating a gray light. They walked together in the cold night, eager to get to the night club.
    "The place is called Immortal Pains. I hear they will even serve minors there!" Allie said in excitement. Aleksander laughed.
    "What, you plan on getting drunk?" he asked. Allie giggled and sped up a bit.
    "Maybe." They continued walking through their town, eventually reaching a highway. The street was full of cars, flying by faster than they ever should be. Allie grabbed Aleksander's arm and pulled him to the right. They hurried down the busy road. Finally they saw the neon sign. In old english font it read, "Immortal Pains." Allie smiled and ran full speed ahead.
    "Hey, wait up!" Aleksander called. He chased after her, easily catching up. The two friends arrived at the door to see a tall man in a suit.
    "Bodyguard?" Aleksander whispered. Allie giggled a bit.
    "They're called bouncers, genius." The man stared at them, shades hiding his eyes.
    "What's the password?" the man asked. Allie cleared her throat and grinned.
    "Nightmare." she replied. The man nodded slowly and opened the door. Metal music blasted from inside the club. It smelled of sweat and iron. Aleksander was confused by the smell, but decided to ignore it. Him and Allie walked in. The club was full of people. Everyone was dressed in gothic clothing. Blue strobe lights flashed everywhere as a band played on the stage. Allie and Aleksander looked around in awe.
    "This is awesome!!" Aleksander yelled. Allie stopped dead in her tracks. A handsome teenage boy walked over to them. He was dressed in all black like Aleksander, but boasted much more accessories. His eyes were such a light blue they almost appeared white.
    "Welcome to Immortal Pains. I am the owner of this club." the boy said. Allie and Aleksander both looked at him like he was crazy.
    "But you're just a kid." Allie shouted. The boy laughed.
    "My name is Claude Rosenthal. You may refer to me as Rose." Allie forgot his statement about being owner and walked a little closer. Aleksander looked at the stage. They were all dressed in black and littered in tattoos. There was something odd about them, but he couldn't figure out what.
    "They're called Soulidium." Rose said to Aleksander. "They've been with us for years." Aleksander scoffed.
    "You say that like you've been alive for centuries." Aleksander now decided he did NOT like Rose. He was too formal. Too calm. Too proper for a teenager. Rose started talking to Allie about the club, but Aleksander tuned them out. He looked around the club, watching all the people dance. They all blended together, like one big sea of black. He felt the same odd feeling from them that he felt from the band, but he still couldn't put his finger on what it was. A waitress walked over to Aleksander. She was holding a tray of drinks and was dressed in nothing but belts covering what needed to be. If she were showing any more skin, she'd be naked.
    "Do you want anything, sir?" she asked.
    "Sir?" Aleksander replied.
    "What was that?" Aleksander realized she hadn't heard him.
    "Um, I'll take a beer." he said.
    "I'm sorry, we don't have beer. I can get you some wine though."
    "Yeah, that's fine." Aleksander watched the waitress disappear into the crowd. He looked back over at Allie. He immediately became furious. She had her arms wrapped around Rose like they were a couple or something. He walked over to them.
    "Allie, let's go. This place sucks." he said above the music.
    "No way! It's awesome here!" Allie replied. Aleksander smacked his lips and walked away. As he walked through the crowd, he couldn't help but notice women were staring at him. Grown women. He smiled a bit and walked with a little more confidence. He marched his way up to the bar. The waitress was just now getting his wine. She turned and saw him sitting.
    "Oh. Hi." She handed him the wine and walked back into the crowd, tray in hand. Aleksander squinted his eyes. They must have turned on a fog machine. He looked around and saw that more women and even a few men were staring at him. He was now starting to think something was on his face. Aleksander felt his face and hair and adjusted all his clothes. But even more people were looking at him. He stood up and began to walk towards the back door. He felt like **** for leaving Allie, but he was starting to get creeped out. He walked out of the club into the alleyway. There was a man smoking in the alley. Aleksander hid his face and fast walked past him. He heard the back door open behind him. The moon provided just enough light to let him see there were multiple people from the club following him. Aleksander increased his speed and went around the corner. He walked for several more feet before looking back to see even more people were following him. He now began to run. Why were these people so obsessed with him? He ran, fearing for his life. Suddenly, it hit him. He realized what the off thing about these people was. They all had the same almost white colored eyes as Rose. He began to scream and ran faster.
    "Help!" Aleksander turned another corner and stopped. In front of him were Rose and Allie. Aleksander tried to turn, but he was surrounded.
    "What did you do to her, you bastard!?" Aleksander yelled. Rose laughed.
    "The same thing she is about to do to you." Rose replied. Allie looked at Aleksander. Aleksander gasped as he stared into her, now almost white, eyes.
    "Allie?" he asked softly. Allie grinned, revealing two sharp fangs. Aleksander gasped and began to scream, but before he could utter a sound, Allie moved in for her kill. Aleksander cried silent tears as his blood was drained. Slowly, his vision faded to black, and finally, his heart ceased to beat.
    Darkness Eternal
    I am the black rose...
    Left in the rain

  2. #2
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    wow I found this absolutely incredible.

  3. #3
    Ich bin die nacht Nacht-Jagen's Avatar
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    Thank you very much.
    Darkness Eternal
    I am the black rose...
    Left in the rain

  4. #4
    Registered User hannah_arendt's Avatar
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    Aleksander or Alexander? This fragment sounds good, very good. But it`s difficult to say something more because we do not know the whole.

  5. #5
    Ich bin die nacht Nacht-Jagen's Avatar
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    It's Aleksander. And thank you. This was originally a novel I wrote, but I took a small portion and turned it into a short story.
    Darkness Eternal
    I am the black rose...
    Left in the rain

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