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Thread: News

  1. #1
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    News

    A man is dying in a pool of blood
    as I make my morning tea.
    If I'm shown,
    I will stop, spoon in hand,
    between sugars two and three.
    Else, he will die
    as I dip a digestive.
    Last edited by Jerrybaldy; 05-23-2013 at 06:38 PM.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  2. #2
    Wild is the Wind Silas Thorne's Avatar
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    All too true. I like the 'dip a Digestive' line, connecting us back to the first.
    Last edited by Silas Thorne; 05-23-2013 at 09:07 PM.

  3. #3
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Watching the news coverage for the second day in the comfort of my own home, yeah the bleeding out was a world away and the terror and everything seems so detached. But it's the way you captured it, I will stop, spoon in hand / between sugars two and three, so trite given the context, that's what's so brilliant about this little poem and amazing albeit unbearable and absurd all at once. So glad you are back, giving us again something to sink our teeth into (extending your digestive metaphor) x

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  4. #4
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    News 24 - it's provides us with an invisible filter between the suffering of the outside world and the comfort of our homes. And you capture this perfectly.

    H

  5. #5
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I salute your continuing felicity, your distaste for grandiosity

  6. #6
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Thank you Silas, Haunted, Hill and Prince. I was unsure of posting this one but you have made me glad I did.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  7. #7
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Powerful truth in everyday living Jerry.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  8. #8
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Thanks Delta.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  9. #9
    Live. Be. Sing. symphony's Avatar
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    So much in so little- something I think I'll always look up to. Thank you for this.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  10. #10
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    Thanks Symphony.

    Your comment gave me cause for thought. I guess if you analyse it, which you probably shouldn't then it's just the juxtaposing or intermingling of the shocking with the mundane. Hill once pointed this out as a speciality of mine and although I am not conscious of it I am thinking he is right.

    It is of course a technique used far more effectively by amazing filmmakers such as David Lynch.

    Thanks again for commenting
    JB
    Last edited by Jerrybaldy; 06-04-2013 at 03:04 AM.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  11. #11
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    I didn't get the line "If I'm shown," but I do think I know which horrifying event to which the poem refers. My God, there certainly have been so many of these frightful crimes.
    The poem effectively shows the paradox wrought by contemporary technology; it enables us to witness such events instantly, yet has the effect of separating us from the suffering of our fellow man.

    This is a highly effective piece, JB.

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