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Thread: new dawn

  1. #1
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    new dawn

    to rain the fade
    sun the shade
    wind the wave
    and sky the layle
    birds swage
    to pastures and planes
    airs settle
    and sail
    to pure and reign
    earth mail
    to oasis
    and glade
    water fresh
    grass drench
    pollen trench
    to a new dawn
    and scent
    glorious is friend
    to men and den
    is nature at lend
    Last edited by cacian; 03-30-2013 at 06:15 AM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  2. #2
    Left 4evr Adolescent09's Avatar
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    A challenge? I see! Allow me to retort:

    I stack a rack atop a rack
    I carry affirmative action on my back
    I smooch off the success of others 'cuz I'm black
    I deal with dope with the hope of obtaining crack
    Wit is something I overtly lack
    When I go to school, weed leaves are what I pack,
    I'm seriously sick of ending every line with "ack"
    Do you notice I don't really give a fack?
    Last edited by Adolescent09; 03-30-2013 at 05:32 AM.
    My hide hides the heart inside

  3. #3
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    LOL I like this it sounds as it reads. It really is magical. I like poetry that sounds you could almost see it as you read it. There is movement in poetry and it is aesthetically gratifying.
    These opening lines are achingly ravishing LOL

    I stack a rack atop a rack
    I carry affirmative action on my back
    I smooch off the success of others 'cuz I'm black
    Last edited by cacian; 03-30-2013 at 06:18 AM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  4. #4
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    Run and rock
    When there is a knock
    There is great pluck
    And every now and then you shock
    Coming with bucks of thoughts
    Driving away dullness of droughts
    When you come up with a rhyme
    I do not find it a crime
    I give it a valuable dime
    Since there is a sonorous chime
    Do not lock up in pit of rule
    The world is not only for a stingy mole
    Rock cacain rock
    Shock cacain shock
    knock cacain knock
    Cause you only have the pluck
    Don not give it a F

  5. #5
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    osho that is indeed a great piece
    I enjoyed this very much and thank you for introducing to your new style. There is a lot of energy emanating from this piece
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacian View Post
    osho that is indeed a great piece
    I enjoyed this very much and thank you for introducing to your new style. There is a lot of energy emanating from this piece
    I am shocked when you rocked me with your plucky words and chubby commendations. I am a baby mole can find space only in a small soul. You are dripping me with hope and I will not hang myself with a homicidal rope. I can rock with you and give my poetry a little clue. That the planet is not only for the perfect few but also I, Tom, Harry and you.

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