Do you think that now is the fUnky-taPpa-daPpa time for bOOmpa-bOOmpa-bOOmpa?? Well, Do You? Do You??
An essay by Wolf Larsen
As writers, shouldn't we ask ourselves bOOmpa-bOOmpa-bOOmpa? I mean, how else can you explain intercourse with six-vagina-giraffes at midnight?! Meanwhile, the verbs have been very upset lately, and the adjectives have been running amok in celestial orgies, and the nouns have become as big as a porn star’s penis! Yes, it's a very fUnky-taPpa-daPpa time for writers, and that's why we should ask ourselves bOOmpa-bOOmpa-bOOmpa!
Now, regarding intercourse with six-vagina-giraffes at midnight, I think it would be best if we would practice correct grammar with subway trains whenever Salvador Dali is present. This would help eliminate correct grammatical inconsistencies by traveling by balloon, whenever your testicles are floating from Canada to Russia.
Of course, traveling from Canada to Russia by balloon can make the verbs very upset, which is why I use Preparation H. Whenever the verbs are very upset, and the toilet is clogged, and the cockroaches are crawling all over the American president's face, I use Preparation H to soothe those itchy feelings that upset verbs can cause.
Which brings me to my next point – what are we going to do about the adjectives running amok in celestial orgies? I say it's time to launch a censorship campaign to eliminate all sex on paper! Of course, we will need the help of all the Olympic gymnasts and as many transvestite Pope pretenders as we can find. And once the corpse of Ronald Reagan is involved, I am sure we will get these ruNning-amOk-adjeCtives under control.
However, having nouns as big as a porn star's penis can only cause vaginas to become larger as well. If the situation regarding nouns as big as a porn star’s penis is not resolved soon I believe that most writers will have wives with vaginas as tall as the Empire state building! This is why correct grammatical structure is absolutely required at all times, even when you're sleeping!
So this being a fUnky-taPpa-daPpa time for writers it is obvious that bOOmpa-bOOmpa-bOOmpa is the answer to all of your correct grammatical structure cravings.
Copyright 2013 by Wolf Larsen
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