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Thread: Ding-Dong

  1. #1
    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Talking Ding-Dong

    The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Donkeys in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
    Part 14 of the musical by Wolf Larsen

    And so two beds are rolled out onto either side of the stage, and the interracial couples begin having fun in their beds. One couple is a black man with a white woman, the other couple is a white man with a black woman. But then two groups of well-dressed types approach each couple. Each one of the two groups press an imaginary doorbell. Doorbell sounds fill the theater. The couples stop what they're doing, and put a few clothes on and walk up to the imaginary door half-naked.

    "Who are you?" each of the couples sing out.

    The well-dressed types answer singing: "We're Jehovah's Testicles!"

    "What do you want?" sing out the couples.

    The Jehovah's Testicles answer singing in unison: "We want to tell you about the testicles of God!"

    The couples answer in unison: "We’re busy! We’re busy! We're busy making beautiful interracial babies!"

    The do-gooders sing in unison: "Oh, but let us tell you about the joys of immaculate conception! You see, God's spermatozoa swam down the sky and into the vagina of the Virgin Mary! Imagine becoming pregnant from God! Could there be a better glory then God's spermatozoa swimming into you from heaven?! Oh immaculate conception! Oh oooh oooooooooooooooh!"

    "Oh oooh oooooooooooh!" laugh the trumpet & clarinet.
    "Oh oooh oooooooooooh!" echoes the harp sensuously.

    The couples sing out in unison: "We're busy! We’re busy! We're busy making the most beautiful babies ever known to man!"

    The Jehovah's Testicles keep singing: "Imagine receiving this beautiful sensuous gift of God in the glorious vagina of the Virgin Mary! And imagine all the glorious oh oooh ooooooooh immaculate conceptions of Solomon and his 1,000 wives! And imagine all the oh oooh oooooooh immaculate conception as two women in the Bible get their father drunk and have incest with him! Oh ooh ooooooh the Bible is filled with the wondrous glories of all the oh oooh oooooooooh immaculate conception!"

    The couples sing out again in unison: "We’re busy! We’re busy! We want to make babies! All we want to do is make babies 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year! We want to fill the whole planet with our beautiful interracial babies!"

    "Beeaautiful interraaacial baaabies!" blurts out the saxophone.
    "Beeaautiful interraaacial baaabies!" sighs the harp sensuously.

    And then the couples slam the door on the Jehovah's Testicles and go back to bed and having fun. But while they're having fun two big fat elephants approach one of the couples and two asses approach the other couple. They each ring an imaginary doorbell. The couples scramble out of bed getting half-dressed, and answer the imaginary door half-naked.

    "Who are you?" The couples sing out.

    "We're campaign volunteers," sing out the asses & elephants.

    "We’re busy! We’re busy!" the couples sing out.

    That's when the elephants begin singing: "We've got some pa-dibble-daddly news for you folks! The trees growing in the park are socialist! All the stop signs are terrorist! Having a black man bomb other countries, attack civil liberties, and presiding over the biggest prison population in the world is absolutely much too progressive for us! We're for traditional values! Namely, we want a white man in the White House to bomb other countries, attack civil liberties, and preside over the biggest prison population in the world!"

    The couples sing out: "Who the **** cares?! We’re busy! We’re busy making immaculate conception! Lots & lots of immaculate conception!"

    That's when the donkeys begin singing: "We're The Party-of-Asses! We talk the blah blah blah of peace but we napalm and we tat-tat-tat Vietnam and drop ka-BOOOOOM atomic bombs on Japan and we stomp stomp stomp all over Afghanistan! We talk about civil liberties and your rights ha ha ha! But we sign laws that will send the American army smashing-CRASHING-down your doors in the middle of the night!"

    "Leave us alone! We’re busy! We’re busy making immaculate conception just like in the Bible!" the couples sing out.

    "You're not getting off that easy!" exclaim the donkeys & elephants. "We're taking you to our conventions!"

    "Oh no no no! The conventions of monotonous endless boredom! This is worse than the Jehovah’s Testicles!" sing out the two couples.

    And then the asses & elephants roll the couples in their beds off the stage.

    Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon: Larsen

  2. #2
    Registered User Jassy Melson's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
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    Pretty bizarre stuff. It's obvious from the intro of the testicles and elephants that the writing is religiously and politically motivated.
    Last edited by Jassy Melson; 03-06-2013 at 10:42 AM.
    Dostoevsky gives me more than any scientist.

    Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. - Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Nov 2011
    LOl I am realy this is not a short take on Noah' Ark. LOL
    And Oh Uncle Sam might not be a very happy man going through this oratry of sex drama and elephant bells.Ohohoh lol
    Ah shame a live streaming computer system would come in to listen to its music whilst hearing the narrator through a radio scope. Oh the fun om would have reading this!l LOL
    Last edited by cacian; 03-06-2013 at 11:03 AM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    it fly

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