More of my "Poetry".

[PrinceMyshkin]

There's a rawness to many of these that greatly appeals to me and the line about "letting our flavors dance like a virus in harmony" is the effing real McCoy! Even if we (or I) don't understand its literal meaning, it has its own authority.

But speaking of "effing," please don't over-use ****. In "Take me," for example, the line "**** me" just doesn't have the punch you intend it to; to me, it somehow felt as if you were self-consciously being naughty and were proud of it.

[MysteryGirl]

Thank you, Prince, for the compliment and also the constructive criticism. It means a great deal to me.

[MysteryGirl]

Oops, my apologies.

[MysteryGirl]

More

Misfit

Jane took herself out of the picture.

Because it was taken in black and white.

And she really liked

sepia.

Blankets and Dirty Carpets


I know I can’t be the only person

with depression who sometimes

has those things like I had yesterday

when I was feeling a self-esteem overload

and an overload of depression because

somehow those two things

coincide

and my mind was trying to distract me

and it was like

****

god damn

mother****er

you’re okay.

you’re okay.

everything’s fine.

and I started talking to my cat.

Like it was normal and I actually

was fine but I knew I wasn’t.

And I wasn’t sure if I was trying to

distract myself from hurting myself

or from the actuality of the attack

but I think it might’ve

worked. Just — sitting here in

my room, it’s feeling like

it didn’t.

Sadistic lure

I have a thing for you.

And you have plenty for me.

Dried up promises & drunken bats.


We swam around aimlessly and feeling

like we were somebody else.

And maybe we were but I was so

blinded by the fact that our hands

were touching that I think

maybe something happened

while we weren’t looking.

Freedom in a liquor bottle

Drunk up cum and made myself liquor

for three.

The hangover is over.

[MysteryGirl]

Two more, sorry.
Behind the scenes


Gone was the innocence

that filled you up to your ears

and made you feel like

you were a part of something.

Gone was the reassuring feeling

that everything was just fine

and everybody was taking care

of everything.

behind the scenes.

This one’s good enough.


I’ve been dying to let you in.

‘Cause I remember yielding a stop.

When I was scared.

I’ve been dying to play.

‘Cause I remember playing with you.

When it was time to go.

I’ve been dying to unfold.

‘Cause I remember letting you know.

I was unable.

I’ve been dying in your hands.

‘Cause I remember yielding a stop.

When I was scared.

[MysteryGirl]

Another that I wrote last night



We’re sick.

And I feel like it’s contagious.

So don’t step any closer.

Or you might risk dying.

Or we might risk you leaving.

Don’t step any closer.

Because there’s a storm inside

of us that we can’t control.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Another that I wrote last night



We’re sick.

And I feel like it’s contagious.

So don’t step any closer.

Or you might risk dying.

Or we might risk you leaving.

Don’t step any closer.

Because there’s a storm inside

of us that we can’t control.

There's a bit of a logical dilemma at the beginning because "we" sees to refer to you and your lover, so the fact of the contagionshouldn't matter.
But once againI'm swept along by the directness of your style, and I like thereversal at the end.

[Nacht-Jagen]

Interesting. "Cum" is especially interesting to me. The deep emotion within the explicit content that most would view as vulgar or childish. I've never seen somebody take such "simple", if you will, words and turn it into a gorgeous poem. Very impressive. Es ist schön, aus einem schönen geist.

[MysteryGirl]

Thank you very much, Prince. I adore your constructive criticism and also your compliments. You're one of my favorite members here, darling.

Nacht-Jagen, thank you very much for your compliments. I had to use Google translate for the last part and even they got it wrong but that was beautiful and I assume you understood it without translation. :P Very smart, you are and also very kind. Thank you again.